I know this is a long story, but if anyone has any quick suggestions, I’d really appreciate them.
I met a friend about 5 years ago in college. He’s 10 years older than me so about 38 now. Truthfully he kind of latched on more than me choosing to become friends, but he needed friends and I wasn’t very good at saying no.
While he has some friends with me and a few others, he’s been lonely as long as I’ve known him. He has been in relationships, but they haven’t worked out and all he’s wanted is to be married.
He’s got bad health problems including high blood pressure and about 5 weeks ago stopped taking all medication. I tried to get him to take them again and to get him to go to the hospital (or at least a counselor) without any luck. He asked me to stop talking about the medicine and I’ve reluctantly stopped. I thought about calling all his friends together at one point and together saying we cared about him, but wasn’t sure how he’d react. When I mentioned I had thought of this, he said it might be time for him to disappear (he’d planned something similar a few weeks ago before his money situation improved (got a full time job); he’d planned on being homeless and cutting off ties so he wouldn’t have to feel like a burden on anyone else (long story)).
He wants to die and has text me on a lot of nights saying he thinks this is the night. I think the only reason he hasn’t directly done it is because he is a strong Catholic.
A few nights ago when I got a bad string of texts from him. I tried to calm him down or get him to go somewhere with me, but he said nothing mattered and didn’t take up any offers. In one text he specifically said that after 7pm on Friday nothing would really matter. At the time, he sounded like he thought his high blood pressure would take him that night and I thought he was saying his funeral would be Friday. I didn’t sleep much that night, but he was still there in the morning.
Last night (Thursday) I talked to him and he said he still remembered Friday (today) at 7pm. I’ve been trying to figure out what in the world this means. He’s also talked about plans for the weekend. I text him this morning and asked him to promise me that he wasn’t going to hurt himself. His response was, “I never promise anything. What happens will happen. I will tell you that I don’t intend to.” It took about 30 minutes for him to respond with that (quicker on last couple of texts before that). He’s frankly unbelievably honest in this stuff so I’m not sure how to interpret that.
I’m not sure what he has planned for tonight. I’ve thought maybe he plans on running again, just leaving us behind and live homeless till he dies. Maybe he does plan on killing himself directly and he is just hoping it happens before then. Regardless, I’m not sure what to do besides pray. I’ve offered to meet him on his break for lunch, but haven’t heard back yet.