I am a catholic teenager and I have a question that has been deeply distressing me. I am not entirely sure if God exists. To me, it just doesn’t seem possible. I wish that I felt otherwise, and I can say that I do, but I just cannot at this time, embrace a God that would allow all the terrible things in this world to happen. Please do not respond to the preceding sentence, I do not wish for help in embracing God, as I am hoping that later in my life I may be brought closer to Him. The following is my real question: If I never in my lifetime accept that God is real, will I go to hell regardless of how well I lived my life? For example, if I live my entire life according to the Bible, am a genuinely good person, and always do my best to help others and make the world a better place, will that not count for anything? Will I go to hell no matter how good of a person I am, just because I don’t believe that God exists? This has me seriously distressed, because assuming God exists, and he is omniscient, just saying that I accept Him will not be enough, as I can’t lie to Him, and I can’t change the way I feel. Please help, I am very worried and distressed that my entire life ahead of me could be meaningless.
(I am also not entirely sure if this thread belongs in the moral theology subsection, it was just the first one that I was at)