Worst News Possible IMO

The other day at dinner my husband and I were talking about simple daily things. I told him about how I wanted to donate to the church in appreciation for God answering my prayers and my finally conceiving our 3rd child. We have been trying for a long while. Out of no where he says to me “thats the most responsible waste of our money you have come up with in the last six years.” I was a little confused and asked him to explain himself, he states “I believe in God, I don’t believe in the word of man.” I was so confused.

So today it has been bothering me, so at dinner, I ask him if he believes in God, he said yes. Then I asked “what was yesterday all about.” He doesn’t respond. So I ask “Do you believe in Jesus?” He actually said “I dont know what I believe.” He goes on to explain some out of context theory about how the story of an imaculate conception etc was used by the people of India hundreds of years before Jesus, and so now he is having doubts.

I asked if it had anything to do with someone talking to him at work, or his Indian friend he has. its not that.I fear it might have to do with some of the many things he did and witnessed during his previous tour in Afghanistan. My husband, though not Catholic, has always been a God fearing man, he has always had such strong beliefs and it was one of the major things that truly made me fall in love with him. And now apparently some ridiculous television program made by some quack scientist who is bent on belittling Jesus and the Bible and all of Christianity has broken my husbands faith in Jesus Christ.

I just don’t know what to do, other than pray for him. I am sad for him, but I want to be able to do more. When I try to talk to him he says I am badgering him… should I take my mothers advice and give him some space and time to work through this? What am I supposed to do? I thought he was supposed to be the spiritual leader of my family?

Your husband has asked you not to badger him. So all you can do is pray for him and leave him alone to work these things out.

\So today it has been bothering me, so at dinner, I ask him if he believes in God, he said yes. Then I asked “what was yesterday all about.” He doesn’t respond. So I ask “Do you believe in Jesus?” He actually said “I dont know what I believe.” He goes on to explain some out of context theory about how the story of an imaculate conception etc was used by the people of India hundreds of years before Jesus, and so now he is having doubts.\

**It sounds to me as either you or he has confused Immaculate Conception with Virgin Birth. They are not the same, though many people think they are.

He might not know what he believes, and this may not be what you want to hear, but you should appreciate his candor.**

decisions on money including donations should be mutual, so do some other work of prayer or sacrifice on your own to give thanks for your blessing. Allow him to do the same as he wishes.

Don’t nag him about his spiritual life any more than you would about any other aspect of his life. The best help you can be to him now is to be the best most loving example of a Catholic wife and mother, to keep your own spiritual life intact and growing and simply to live the life and walk the walk. Pray for him daily. Don’t bombard him with play by play of all you are doing because that will be taken as criticism

He might still be working through the “stuff” he has experienced “at work” and right now just can’t process anything more. I’ve been out of the military for a long time and I’m still processing all that business. You’ve made the suggestion. Let him process it at his own pace and in his own time. Pray for him specifically and generally and daily; often we pray for everyone but our spouses.

I had a similar faith crisis when I first heard similar claims made by the internet movie Zeitgeist. The claim is that Egypt mythology has many similarities to the Christian story, so Christianity is just a made up story. (Apparently the story of Buddha (500BC) has many parallels with the story of Jesus as well.) This disturbed me because I have never heard them before and so I had no answer.

So I started to research. What I found completely put my soul at ease.

I also read a really good description of why there are some similarities from previous religions. Basically God’s plan is written in our hearts. Man has always been trying to fulfill that plan (intentional and unintentionally). The core concepts are a God that loves us, a virgin birth, God taking human form, suffering for us, dying for us, rising from the dead. The reason we may see some of these before Christ is because it is God’s plan.

I did not do justice to what I had read, so I will try and find it again.

In the mean time, pray for your Husband. Maybe encourage him to do more research if he is questioning things. The internet can be a scary place though because anyone can say anything (Dan Brown or Jack Chick :frowning: ) Maybe suggest he stick to religious sources.

Wow, what wonderful advice. DITTO!


Not the article I had in mind, but worth reading.

Actually, the more you know, the better equipped you will be when your husband does want to talk to you :slight_smile:

Thank you all so much, honestly. I am going to continue to pray for my husband and I think when he is ready to talk to me about what is troubling him he will. Until then I am going to do my homework, check out the links chessmane4e5 gave me as well as other places online that I can find the information I think will help him. I think right now he is so confused that he can’t be reasoned with, so I am going to wait for the initial confusion to blow over.

Thank you all again, so much.

I’m the proud sister of a U.S.Marine. We know our Marines are special. I believe God holds them especially close. I will be praying for you and your husband and child. - My brother has also undergone a similar period of -“confusion”. How could they not. There’s a reason for the phrase that “war is hell.”

We here so much about supporting our troops. Some wonderful charities and benefits have been established for their material needs. Usually when we pray, we pray for their physical safety. Seldom do we remember to pray for their spiritual well being. Perhaps we who love and treasure them would do well to ask for the intercession and protection of St. Michael on their behalf.

I will definitely be praying for your husband and all of our troops.

First, thank you to your husband for his service to our country.

For an early Christmas gift, get Lee Strobel’s “The Case For Christ”.

CS Lewis talks about this!! Get him Mere Christianity it mentions how the pagan religions are proof that of Christianity because throughout all those pagan religions are foreshadowing of Christ and His mother. Tell him to watch Apocolypto, as much as Mel Gibson has his problems it is an absolutely riveting movie that shows even a society like the mayans had foreshadowing of Christ and His mother. And pray take him to a Catholic Bible study it will also mention these things. Apologetics groups etc…

Goood luck I will pray for you.

I second “The Case For Christ”. It is excellent and very factual-- lots of science!

Sorry to hear that. Maybe this can help. Let him know that in 2000 years of trying, those trying to take down the Catholic Church have been unable to do so. There has been no smoking gun, no error, nothing that punches a hole in the teaching of the Catholic Church.

Tell him to be very skeptical of what he sees on tv or the internet. When I sometimes watch the programs on the History channel, Discovery, or National Geographic, I cringe at all the errors, lies, information left out, and outright deception that is in those programs. It seems every one of them has the same “experts” who all are very dubious with their “facts”.

I’m sorry for what you’re going through, but I don’t think it’s helpful to call this the “worst possible news.” Your husband didn’t cheat, he doesn’t intend to leave you. He seems to be a good man who is struggling with faith.

Marine Corps Wife,

I completely understand how you feel since I’m in a similar siuation. The best thing we can do is pray for our husbands, live our faith and offer a good example. That speaks more than words. Also, checking out some literature on apologetics is a good idea, you’ll have answers to his questions when he raises them.

God bless!

Thank you all. looks like I have some book shopping to do :slight_smile: I let him yesterday over dinner that I would not be “badgering” him anymore and was sorry that it came across that way. I think we are both confused over different things right now. He promised that when he was ready he would come to me, so I really do want to get my homework done and make sure that I have the answers he is looking for. I know if I do not have the answer I will call the Deacon for some help. Thank you all for the fabulous resources. I have a feeling I will learn much from this situation. Maybe it is a blessing in disguse. I know that my journey to help him will strengthen my relationship with God.

And to flyingfish… it kind of hurt my feelings how you pass judgement knowing nothing of my marriage. We have both struggled through affairs, he got another girl pregnant! I had a drug addiction problem, at one point he kicked me out of the house and was ready to file divorce. But even through all of that horrible stuff that we did to eachother and endured together, we always had God. We always had our strength and love in Jesus to know that things were going to be okay if we could live right and forgive one another, and gain the forgiveness of God. So yes, as I stated…** In My Opinion **this is the worst possible news. Without faith my husband is lost; it has always defined him. And months before another deployment to Afghanistan is not the time to decide you don’t know who you want to be praying to from your foxhole.

Do you believe in God flyingfish?

In the view of a Christian, a person rejecting God is the worst new possible, especially if it is their spouse.

Keep praying MarineCorpsWife

I agree.

Keep praying is right, and I’ll pray with you! :gopray2:

I don’t really have any advice to add, but I’ll be praying for you!

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pass judgment. I made that comment to make you feel better, I guess I failed.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.