Would a respectable Catholic marry someone who isn't a virgin?


So nearly two years ago I changed schools and was thrown into a new group of people and as a result started doing some horrible things to fit in and impress people. I started on the pill (which drastically changed my mood), I drank a lot and lost my virginity to someone I thought cared about me, but instead broke my heart. This started a bad downward spiral of promiscuous behavior. After a few months I stopped everything completely, realizing how bad it was. I have repented, returned to the church and have devoted my life to serving God and the community in a Catholic way. I truly know now the right way to live and believe God never left my side during this period…my question is, do you think a devout Catholic man will want to marry me knowing all this? I want love and children more than anything, but telling my future soul mate about this scares me to my core.

Dear friend,

A respectable Catholic should know the power of Christ’s forgiveness–and will inevitably marry a sinner because sinners are all that are available–including non-virgins.

Jesus said that He came to call sinners; not the righteous. If one repents, goes to Confession and is absolved, one’s soul is pure again as though one never sinned. What one confesses in the sacrament is between oneself and God. No one is obliged to reveal one’s Confessional matter—even to one’s spouse. Your concern is understandable, but unwarranted. Know that the Savior’s love for you has made you a new creation.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

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