Would I be more loving by letting my brother shack up in my home?

My brother and his girlfriend are coming from half way around the world to spend Christmas with my mother and I. My mother lives alone and does not accept them sleeping together in her apartment. So he has said that they will stay in a nearby hotel. But my wife, upon hearing about this thinks we should be generous and have them come and spend the holidays with us (we live nearby my mother). She thinks that it is an opportunity for them to see family life with children up close. And that it is more “loving” and accepting of us of we have them stay over.

We are a practicing Catholic have four children between 5 and 11, and I think that having my brother and his girlfriend sleep over in the same bed opens the door to my children wanting to do the same when they get older. Am I being paranoid? Or just careful and coherent?

Neither my wife nor I would accept our children sleeping over together with their girlfriends/boyfriends in the same bed in our house… But is it coherent to accept it of my atheist brother?


Dear friend,

Why do people continually think that closing one’s eyes to sinful behavior is being loving? Where in the Gospels does Jesus ever do this? He certainly loved sinners, but He always spoke the truth about sin. You owe your brother the truth: that you love him too much to be silent regarding the damage he is doing himself by denying God’s existence and his sinful behavior with a woman to whom he is not married. AND, you owe your children good example.

You are not paranoid; you are putting God first!

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

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