Hey everyone. On December 27, I am getting married. My fiance and I already have one child and we want to have more but with my health the way it is, I would have a high risk pregnancy. Would this be justification for avoiding a pregnancy using Natural Family Planning?
This is something you should speak to your priest about. We are all internet strangers with no spiritual authority over you to answer these questions for you. This question requires more than just pulling information from the Catechism, or else we’d be able to answer for you. You’ll need real spiritual direction from a real spiritual authority for this one, as it is so personal.
In general, whether something is a “just reason” is up to the judgment of you, your (future) husband, and your priest, and something more than simply not wanting children for the sake of not wanting children.
Extra early congrats!
Have you discussed this with your doctor? Certainly risk to the mother is very much a sufficient reason for using NFP to avoid pregnancy, but you need to find out what the risk is of and what the chances of its occurring are. [This is not to say you need to tell us here, only for you and your fiancé to have a clear understanding.]
Congratulations on your up and coming nuptials. The answer is in looking at what type of Marriage preparation are you receiving. Is the clergy supporting it or giving it. Is the clergy being thorough in covering everything.
Your question really needs an expert answer.
That is because according to the Church there should be no impediments to a couple who want to receive and live out the Sacrament of Marriage. That is Canon Law and also found in the Order of Matrimony book used alongside the Missil when a Catholic Marriage is celebrated. The couple must be open to life for a valid and licit celebration of the marriage. An impediment to the Sacrament would be the couple not being open to life, (depending on the circumstances). It is crucial you get this sorted out by experts before your wedding.
Your case is quite complicated and requires all the details for any sort of answer. Bring this up with the people who are preparing you and your fiance for the life long Sacrament of Marriage.
An example of an impediment to marriage could be the question on intention of marriage for life. Something as simple as a prenuptial agreement could bring this into question, the prenup could suggest a get out of jail free card, the couple really does not intend marriage for life. This is why Marriage preparation really needs to get down to the nitty gritty before the couple walk down that aisle.
Do you anticipate the health situation will ease in due course?
Possibly but I don’t know for sure. I know it will likely be brought under control with medicine though.
It’s evident you are not entering marriage with an intention to avoid children for the whole of your marriage, so I don’t believe there is any issue.
Address to Midwives, Venerable Pope Pius XII, 1951
Serious motives, such as those which not rarely arise from medical, eugenic, economic and social so-called “indications,” may exempt husband and wife from the obligatory, positive debt for a long period or even for the entire period of matrimonial life. From this it follows that the observance of the natural sterile periods may be lawful, from the moral viewpoint: and it is lawful in the conditions mentioned. If, however, according to a reasonable and equitable judgment, there are no such grave reasons either personal or deriving from exterior circumstances, the will to avoid the fecundity of their union, while continuing to satisfy to the full their sensuality, can only be the result of a false appreciation of life and of motives foreign to sound ethical principles.
Hi Holly, no advice just letting you know that I wish you a blessed upcoming marriage.
May God bless you and your son and fiancé.
This is something the two of you discern together. The Church does not give any sort of list and for good reason— Because it’s up to the couple to discern.
The internet is not really a good place to discern these things as all sorts of people with opinions both in line with the Church and NOT in line with the Church can read and respond.
The guidance of your doctor is a strong indicator you need to postpone children, and should be a major consideration and the two of you discern in your marriage prep and beyond.
If you are uncertain seek counsel with the priest or deacon preparing you for marriage.
Holly3278 are you celebrating the Sacrament of Matrimony in the Catholic Church? I also read your threads about the father of your child and a man you had met recently on a dating site. My suggestion if you are marrying the father of your child please discuss the reasons listed for breaking off the earlier engagement and really thrash them out with the Priest responsible for your nuptials before the wedding.
You and your family are in my prayers as requested in your other prayer threads.
Only speaking for myself, if I were with my wife, and if we were in this situation, I wouldn’t have a problem in the world with it, and I am quite sure she wouldn’t either. I would view high-risk pregnancy as a perfectly justifiable reason for avoiding pregnancy using either natural means or abstinence altogether. My reservations (which have been covered in past threads at great length) about entering marriage with the positive intention to avoid childbearing, are not absolute, and I can certainly foresee people contemplating marriage who would have grave/serious/just reasons (as opposed to no reason at all — “we just don’t want children” — or trivial, selfish reasons such as love of travel or accumulation of assets) to avoid pregnancy for the duration of the marriage. Needless to say, only natural means are morally admissible
I would say ultimately to defer to your priest, but it is very difficult for me to imagine a priest — even the most stern of SSPX priests — who would say “that’s not good enough, abandon yourself to Divine Providence, and let come what may”.
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