Would priest avoid me on purpose?


Hello and happy advent, it has happened to me in a couple of occasions that I have the feeling that this priest( wich is the main one of the parish/church),avoids me , like he wouldn’t salute me or never really engage in conversation, and on top of that I am not originally from this parish , I have been attending for about 5 years now , on and off.
But today was (la gota que colmó el vaso) ,the drop that overflowed the glass, as I was coming out of the church, there was only three persons ,(me being one of them , and made the effort to approach all of them , except me.
Anyway, without going into whether I am right or not, would a priest , for no apparent reason , decide , I don’t like this person , I am going to shut him off?.


Even if he does not like you, too bad, but he still gives you the greatest gift there is on earth: the body of Jesus. That should outweigh the fact (if it is really the case) that he does not like you by about 500.000 tons


Yes maybe so. This can’t be the 1st time. Some one ignored your advance.
And most priests are normal people. Trained to put up with people.
And trained to perform the mass ceremony.
Its their job.
Everyone feels that way.
Wants to be accepted and a part of the group


None of us can read the minds of others. Be polite and friendly to all in Church. Some will want to talk to you and some won’t.


Yes I get everyone feels wanting to be accepted, I guess my question was more like, are priests trained (I use this term as you have used also), to feel some welcome , but others unwelcome?


Mind reading is Not a common trait!!!

Thanks… I’ll rely on the holy spirit.


Yes , agree, sometimes our intuition could mislead us at interpreting someone’s behaviour, but what really bother me , was the thought that, he could be (and I use one of Jesus parables), separating the ship from the goat (again speculation about this father’s mind frame), and I don’t consider myself a goat, but if we are to imagine what’s going on with this priest’s reactions, I guess that’s one of the worst case scenarios .


There could be a million reasons for this.

Perhaps he had been working with one of them through a family problem. Perhaps he needed the words of wisdom or comfort he knew one of them would provide.

Call the office. Shoot him an email and ask to take him out to a cup of coffee. Priests are still human, it takes a friend to be a friend. Did it never cross your mind that perhaps after 5 years of your not really engaging in a practical level at church that perhaps he is unsure you like him?


Yes priests are trained. In the people "service industry"
To give someone the preacher teacher priest. “Smile” of acceptance.

What’s unusual of this approach and method.

As any clerk or casher. Knows.


Yes our intuition ? Can miss lead us? Hmmm

When saint Paul said when you pray 4 something. Let 2or3 prophecy. And let the others judge the content.

It is common to get spiritual revelation. And when you do it in the company of other prophetic people. You understand your “part”

Yes we can prophecy in “part” and we can understand our part.



This attitude is just so ridiculous.

I was someone who worked in customer service for years. And in those years I developed friendships and knew people well.

I also know there were many, many I delt with that I didn’t know well. Some because they were infrequent, some because they made no effort to be friendly with me. I had a student who seemed not to want to deal with me for years. Quick, short conversations to get what he needed. It was not my job to draw him out. I gave him what he needed which, for him, was perfunctory.

Then, one semester he had a terrible class and the university complaint department asked me to speak to him. I did…and we actually talked quite a bit. He thought I didn’t like him—when in reality, I just didn’t know him, and did not push his communication because it was not my job to force ANYONE to communicate with me.

In the remaining years, he became a close student and he even thanked me at graduation. But it was NOT my place to ever decide how much communication he wanted to give.

All professionals have to make this decision. At some point, you need to decide where the other person is leading the conversation and respect that.

And its often appreciated by those who don’t want to be bothered. And those who want a relationship have a full volition on their side to change the approach.


Well , I guess you will agree with me , making some stranger feel welcome into your congregation, it should not be compared to the retail business approach,
I mean I was almost (if not even) considering not coming back there, thanks for your comment


You’re overthinking it man, just chill out and be nice to him


Yes , I guess love is the answer,


My priest avoids me. It’s been a real source of anxiety and sadness. I feel like a part of my soul has been blackened.

He Baptized my daughter, and I’ve spoken to him on several occasions prior to the Baptism. But since then, it’s like he wants nothing to do with me. I’ve asked kindly on a few occasions if we could get our Baptism certificate for my daughter, but he never sends it. He asks me to send him an email to set up an appointment for some spiritual guidance that I requested, but he never responds to my emails anymore. He deliberately tries to avoid me after mass when I just want to say hi.

Sadly I don’t have a lot of options to go elsewhere, otherwise I would probably attend mass at another church. But I’m absolutely heartbroken that I can’t feel a part of a community where my daughter was baptised. At times, I feel like it puts me at the crossroads with my faith.

I meditate over the sorrowful mysteries and contrast it to my situation. People are people. There are bad people and there are bad priests. I don’t think this priest is a bad person but he has his reasons. I just can’t let it dictate my life. All I can do is pray for guidance, healing and for him and to remind myself why I go to church.


It’s purely an individual thing, nobody is trained to reject people, all Christians should help anybody. There can be multiple reasons for that behavior, we shouldn’t judge others so I won’t write any possible causes. I’m sorry that you feel bad. Remember that a priest is a human and can reject you but God can’t. :slight_smile:


There’s all sorts of possibilities.
Perhaps, like has been mentioned, he was helping or is close friends with those he spoke with.

Don’t worry about it too much


Thanks , I’ll try not to, but I guess my recent past experiences, has let me quite susceptible to this kind of situations .


Thank u, i still can’t get it out of my head, but appreciate the effort!


Does he not have a secretary?

My priest is incredibly busy. He barely has time to breathe. His secretary books his appointments and most certainly would be the one to handle disbursement of additional records.

This sounds more like he’s embarrassed that he has continually forgotten about your needs and dosn’t know how to fix the relationship.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.