sorry to make this, i just need some clarification. its awkward and embarrassing for me to type this, but i think it will help
i read, a lot. i try to pick books that are good, and unknowingly sometimes i will get one that is bad. today, that happened.
about a year to a year and a half ago, i had a habit of masturbating. i finally broke it and confessed it at church, and never did it since.
normally if im reading a bad book i will just stop, put it down, and not continue, but today, im not really sure why, but i didnt. ive had a bad past couple weeks so that could be it, but im not going to let myself make excuses.
anyways, when i was reading i wasnt even thinking and i started to masturbate, but less than 10 seconds after i realized how horrible the thing i was doing was, and how i ruined everything i’d accomplished in the past year or so.
is this a mortal sin? as i cannot drive yet i can’t really get to confession but two times a year when my family goes for easter and christmas, and i dont want them to realize what ive done as it might affect their view of me. i want to keep it between me and the priest in real life. id put this past me for so long and immediately i realized how horrible i was and i really want to make it right.
if it is a mortal sin, i dont know what to do. back when i still had my habit i waited until my family went and i felt so terrible doing that too. i wish i could drive and be on my own.