Would This Be Considered Dishonoring My Mother?


#1

I just got back from confession and church today, and I think I may have ALREADY commited a sin. Being which not honoring my mother.

Me and my mom were driving after chruch to get groceries and we got into a somewhat argument. I asked her why she stopped going to church in the past and she turned the question around on me saying that she had three boys who called her a “holyer than thou B*&%$”
(I know, my family must sound really messed up, Man do I know it)
Anyway I got angery because it sounded to me like she was trying to say that I said it, and I know I didn’t So I got a little loud defending myself and then on the way home there was what looked like a drunk driver in the wrong lane heading our way while half way of the road divider so she said to get the license plate number and call it in before he killed someone. So I did and the cops called back asking for details but I was leaving and told my mom to answer the phone if they called again but she said no because she was going to bed (which I doubt because it was like 9) and so I thought she was lying and said yeah ok but if you hear the drunk driver killed someone then tell yourself that then.

I know that saying that was a little harsh but if the cop called back needing more information why couldn’t she give a couple minutes to answer his questions? especially whe she suggested I call in the first place?

I know I might sound like a brat but I have a very short temper when it comes to my mom because I swear she does some stuff just to make me angry, but I do have some serious anxiety problems and I have a short fuse when it comes to things like this (If you grew up in my house you would understand why!)

Aaaaanyways, i’m just looking for some insight as to whether I need to bring this to the next confession and whether it would be considered grave matter? I am trying to be more calm and trying to get my anger under control especially when it comes to my mother.

Thanks in advance…


#2

Sorry, I realised this should be in Moral thology, I’d move it if I could.

I’ll read more carefully next time


#3

Read this and decide for yourself:

Sirach
Chapter 3

1
1 Children, pay heed to a father’s right; do so that you may live.
2
For the LORD sets a father in honor over his children; a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons.
3
He who honors his father atones for sins;
4
he stores up riches who reveres his mother.
5
He who honors his father is gladdened by children, and when he prays he is heard.
6
He who reveres his father will live a long life; he obeys the LORD who brings comfort to his mother.
7
He who fears the LORD honors his father, and serves his parents as rulers.
8
In word and deed honor your father that his blessing may come upon you;
9
For a father’s blessing gives a family firm roots, but a mother’s curse uproots the growing plant.
10
Glory not in your father’s shame, for his shame is no glory to you!
11
His father’s honor is a man’s glory; disgrace for her children, a mother’s shame.
12
My son, take care of your father when he is old; grieve him not as long as he lives.
13
Even if his mind fail, be considerate with him; revile him not in the fullness of your strength.
14
For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, it will serve as a sin offering–it will take lasting root.
15
In time of tribulation it will be recalled to your advantage, like warmth upon frost it will melt away your sins.
16
A blasphemer is he who despises his father; accursed of his Creator, he who angers his mother.


#4

What’s this write up? where’s it from?

But by reading it, I would say that I am once again living in sin right after confession.


#5

[quote=Steven87]What’s this write up? where’s it from?

But by reading it, I would say that I am once again living in sin right after confession.
[/quote]

As Fidelis noted in his post it is from the Holy Bible in Sirach Chapter 3. He included verses 1 through 16.

You can look it up here:

Ecclesiasticus (Sirach) Chapter 3:1-16


#6

That doesnt sound like Mortal sin to me…venial at most…I had an argument with my mother today…one day after Mass…It was nothing more than anger…too fast for me to contemplate the THREE things required to sin…anger is anger, people argue and doesnt mean you are now in mortal sin… ask God for forgiveness and try to be patient and avoid arguments with her…I’m not a big fan of having OLD TESTAMENT sayings being thrown out to try and prove points… I could find stuff in there that if followed today would have people thrown in jail for life.


#7

[quote=Faithful 2 Rome]I’m not a big fan of having OLD TESTAMENT sayings being thrown out to try and prove points… I could find stuff in there that if followed today would have people thrown in jail for life.
[/quote]

For the record, that isn’t what I was trying to do by providing the quote from Wisdom–It was only to provide a principle, not to be dogmatic. You should not so easily assign motives to other people’s actions. :slight_smile:


#8

But by simply throwing them out there and NOT supplying any of your own reasoning, or input you lead one to beleive that is a dogmatic statement you are making. :wink:


#9

[quote=Steven87]I just got back from confession and church today, and I think I may have ALREADY commited a sin. Being which not honoring my mother.

Me and my mom were driving after chruch to get groceries and we got into a somewhat argument. I asked her why she stopped going to church in the past and she turned the question around on me saying that she had three boys who called her a “holyer than thou B*&%$”
(I know, my family must sound really messed up, Man do I know it)
Anyway I got angery because it sounded to me like she was trying to say that I said it, and I know I didn’t So I got a little loud defending myself and then on the way home there was what looked like a drunk driver in the wrong lane heading our way while half way of the road divider so she said to get the license plate number and call it in before he killed someone. So I did and the cops called back asking for details but I was leaving and told my mom to answer the phone if they called again but she said no because she was going to bed (which I doubt because it was like 9) and so I thought she was lying and said yeah ok but if you hear the drunk driver killed someone then tell yourself that then.

I know that saying that was a little harsh but if the cop called back needing more information why couldn’t she give a couple minutes to answer his questions? especially whe she suggested I call in the first place?

I know I might sound like a brat but I have a very short temper when it comes to my mom because I swear she does some stuff just to make me angry, but I do have some serious anxiety problems and I have a short fuse when it comes to things like this (If you grew up in my house you would understand why!)

Aaaaanyways, i’m just looking for some insight as to whether I need to bring this to the next confession and whether it would be considered grave matter? I am trying to be more calm and trying to get my anger under control especially when it comes to my mother.

Thanks in advance…
[/quote]

Steven, I’m not sure I have any words of wisdom here other than if this was a sin I believe it was venial. Ofcourse I am biased in my opinions because I have had many very unpleasant arguments with my own mother, starting when I was about 13 and up until this day - 32 at present. Infact just yesterday I had to cut our phone conversation short because she was getting nasty.

I understand what your saying about her doing stuff intentionally to provoke you because that’s my mother’s mode of operation when she’s having a bad day. She’ll make huge generalizations, exagerate and embelish, throws out all kinds of rediculous accusations and she has out and out lied. She also has a very selective memory.

I don’t see your response as anything grave. If your concerned ofcourse you can bring it up at your next confession - certainly spritual diection on this matter could be helpful. But I would also becareful not to be overly scrupulous. God Bless.


#10

Steven,
I agree with Faithful and Rayne, your argument and angry remarks are probably venial sins. It’s really easy for family members to push the wrong buttons on us and set us off, even if they don’t mean to.
Don’t forget to pray for your mom, she sounds like she takes to heart other people’s opinions of her, especially her sons’. I have grown kids and their opinions of me are very important to me. Be sure to tell her you love her at times, and that you’re glad she’s going to church with you now.
If you pray for her you will see her more clearly and be less likely to lose your temper.
God bless.


#11

I have noticed that whatever I say in the confessional uaually ends up getting better in my life. (for example, I was having a grudge with a family member, and after I talked about it in confession I had no problem letting go of my hurt feelings. I didn’t even have to try. I just didn’t hurt anymore!) So if this is really bothering you, talk about it next time you are in confession, and I bet it will be easier for you to contain your temper next time you get into a disagreement with your mother. I don’t think it was a mortal sin, so you don’t have to rush out to confession, but just write it down or make a mental note to mention it next time you go.
BTW, it is nice that you take your mother to Mass. Don’t forget to give yourself a little credit for what you do right in life. We all do things wrong! God loves you! Keep on working at it! :slight_smile:


#12

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