I’m not going to get into so much detail, because there’s a lot of details. But, to make it short, recently I got into a “fight” with a friend through texting, and I was kind of being irrational because I thought she was lying about something… and I told her she was shady and that I was ‘done.’ This girl makes herself out to be so nice, but she’s really not. I became friends with one of her friends during the summer time, and I could tell she didn’t like how close we got. Anyway, recently we had both been talking behind her back, and not saying not-so-nice things. I admit I was wrong for talking bad about her, but sometimes I just went to let things out about what I think about someone and I don’t mean to cause any ill intentions. Well, my friend who I got into a ‘fight’ with during texting, was with our other mutual friend at the moment. Our other mutual friend and I were actually planning on going to a prayer group the very next day, and she was texting me. Then, all of a sudden she texts me and tells me she is not going to be able to go anymore. I got very upset, because I knew my other friend told her bad things I had said about her. To make the story short and cut out the things we said, she basically is ignoring me now. She wouldn’t respond to my texts later on. I emailed her, and I also said sorry in one of the emails. I asked if she could call me when she was free, but nothing back. To make matters worse, these two girls went and told another mutual friend something I said and now that girl is being weird to me. I was never really close with this other girl, but I honestly only said maybe 1 or 2 things that were not so nice, but I always said she had a good heart. They both have talked bad also. So, it’s really sad that they both are doing this. Now, my question is with the first two girls… my friend who I got into a fight with first had said horrible things about our mutual friend, and I held back telling my other friend what she said, because I don’t feel it’s right, even if I am no longer friends. I already talked bad, which I feel horrible about. But, would it actually really be wrong or revengeful to do this? Or, is it sticking up for myself? (by the way, in one of the emails to my friend, I did tell her that basically the other girl was not a friend to either of us, etc. Trying to hing that she talked about her, but I never told her what she said). Hope this all makes sense, because it sounds confusing typing it out.
Well, now that you have learned your lesson regarding talking about people behind their back and gossipy, uncharitable speech it is time to move on with new friends and new ways.
Telling friend A what friend B said is MORE gossip and drama. Have not part in it. Practice virtue from now on. If others begin to talk about a party who is not present, stop them or walk away.
And, stop all that texting nonsense.
Rule of thumb is that if a person will gossip with you about someone else, they’ll also gossip about you with someone else.
All I can say is that you got what was coming to you. You should try to make up with your friends but you may never become friends again. All I can say to you is you should repent for your sins then do what is right and never gossip again. It only takes gossiping once to lose a friend for good.
You cannot control anything they do, or say. You only have control over your own actions. So to be more successful in the future, work on yourself. There are numerous Bible passages on taming the tongue. It would be good for you to read these. It will help teach you how hurtful, and serious, damaging comments are to others. It is a big deal. People have lost, relationships, jobs, and marriages over gossip. God has the answer.
You contributed to the drama because you:
- Gossiped about others behind their backs;
- Kept company with those who gossip,
Will you get out of the problem through the same way you got in? I doubt it.
Instead of fussing over the spilled milk treat this as a lesson in Life.
Proverbs says, “The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters; a flowing brook, a fountain of wisdom.” Reflect wisdom in your speech, rather than focusing on other people’s problems or what others have to say about you. And surround yourself with people who think and speak wisely.