.Would you attend the non-valid wedding of a close Catholic friend or relative???


#1

Would you attend the non-valid wedding of a close Catholic friend or relative???


#2

No. I wouldn’t. I received an invitation to the “wedding” of my nephew, who also happens to be my god-son, some years ago. I had been to his wedding in New Jersey some years previously, and knew he was divorced. When he phoned me (following up on an mailed invitation) I asked him if he had received an annulment. He had not, so I told him that I could not attend. We discussed beliefs for a while. He had made up his mind when he was 15 that there were too many hypocrits in the church! At this time he was 30 something. I suggested that he not make decisions as an adult based on adolescent perceptions, but examine the facts and come to a conclusion formed by maturity.

My decision did not create any breach in the family. We all respected wach others decisions.

I really cannot see myself giving approval to a life of adultery - no matter whether the couple see it that way or not.


#3

Two of my first cousins called us since we are active in our parish to find out what they would have to do to get married in the Catholic church. We gave them good instructions, since first hand we do marriage prep. They do not live closeby, in fact one lives out of state. So we told them first of all to contact the priest at the parish they wish to marry in, and this is the usual course of marriage prep. To our dismay when the invitation came six months later…both married outside of the church in Protestant churches.

We did not elect to attend their protestant exchange of vows. We did however attend the reception. Prior to that, we contacted our cousins godparents and asked them if they could intervene by telling them the importance of being married into the Catholic church, and how they could later consider getting their marriage validated in the Catholic church. We were amazingly told to mind our own business. And told that their version of God does not match ours. I know our family has not been catechized properly and probably does not regularly practice their faith, but outside of praying for them, I am at loss of how to handle it. I feel that by not talking more on the subject, it’s like dismissing the elephant in the room. Any ideas?


#4

A person who has officially left the Catholic Church is no longer bound by Catholic Canon Law. I would not however attend under any circumstances if one of the party was divorced .(without a decree of Nullity)


#5

i would attend (and have attended) the wedding of a person married outside of the church.

i believe this to be a loving response to their decision to be married. if they ask my advice, which often happens, i would give it. but if they decide to ignore my advice, then for me, the way i love them is to help them and support them in their decision.

if (when) things go awry, the way i love them is to help dig them out of the mess they’ve made. if i refuse to go to their wedding, they’ll probably be extremely unlikely to seek my help later.


#6

I’ve been thinking long and hard about this very question lately, because any day now, I know I’m going to get a call from my divorced (from Catholic husband #1) & widowed (from Protestant husband #2) female friend to tell me she is engaged to a Baptist widower.

There would be many other concerns that I would have about this news, but what’s going to require the most tact and charity from me is explaining the religious aspect to her…especially because she has recently (w/in past 5 years or so) found her way back to the Church (but not followed through with the annulment process). No matter how I say it, I think it will probably change our friendship forever.


#7

i’ll pray for ya.


#8

I didn’t go to a close relation’s wedding to a non-Catholic. There was a lot of fishy-ness going on, and none of my inquiries about proper protocol where answered to my satisfaction. I tried to explain my reasons for not going, but they didn’t understand. The only reason they would understand was that the cost to go to the remote location for the wedding was out of my budget.


#9

An invalid wedding is a grave evil. Assuming that one had made this completely clear, then attending the wedding would be remote material cooperation in evil, while participating in some ceremonial capacity would be proximate material cooperation. In order for this to be justified, there would need to be a proportionate reason for the cooperation. I think that avoiding a family rift would constitute a proportionate reason.


#10

that’s a new one, i haven’t heard before. an invalid wedding is a grave evil? can i read that somewhere besides your post?


#11

[quote=jeffreedy789]that’s a new one, i haven’t heard before. an invalid wedding is a grave evil? can i read that somewhere besides your post?
[/quote]

I meant an obviously invalid wedding, such as a Catholic marrying outside the Church without a dispensation, or a divorced person remarrying without an annulment.


#12

[quote=Br. Rich SFO]A person who has officially left the Catholic Church is no longer bound by Catholic Canon Law. I would not however attend under any circumstances if one of the party was divorced .(without a decree of Nullity)
[/quote]

yup, what he said… :thumbsup:

I concur… :thumbsup:


#13

[quote=jeffreedy789]that’s a new one, i haven’t heard before. an invalid wedding is a grave evil? can i read that somewhere besides your post?
[/quote]

Of course it is. It is an offense against the Sacrament of Marriage, a sacrilege…


#14

I didn’t attend my own brother’s civil marriage ceremony.

He is a confirmed Catholic and she is too.

I felt that to attend is to legitimate.

They have since announced their intentions to be married in the Church.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.