I'm hoping you can help...My family learned my mother is terminally ill. First, my siblings and I can not get my mother to write any of her wishes down. Further, she has orally given conflicting information to three of us. She has told one sister that she wanted to be buried and later told my brother and I that she would be OK with cremation provided all the rules of the Church were followed. The one sister is adamant that my mother be buried, "I KNOW what Mom wants..." She is probably right that this is our mother's preference but there is no absolute certainty about this. Needless to say, this has caused a lot of tension/arguments between us children (We have not mentioned this fact to our mother and likely would never do so given the circumstances).
The second problem involves my Mom's finances. My mother has a small amount of life insurance (about $8K) but little else to pay for her funeral expenses. She has never been great with money so she owns nothing and has nothing in savings, etc. She has a wealthy sister who easily could pay any difference in funeral costs. The sister who insists my mother be buried thinks it would be permissible to ask my aunt's assistance in paying for my Mom's funeral. I think this is very tacky and I'm not comfortable with it. I expressed this sentiment to my sister. Her response: "Well, so-and-so borrowed money to pay for her mother's funeral." I think borrowing money from anyone -- be it the aunt, the bank, whomever -- is foolish. I'm trying very hard to be financially responsible in my own life and don't see the sense in taking on more debt. I have no problem paying perhaps an additional $1,000 to do this, but I have my husband's resistance past that. So, here's my question: What are my obligations to what my mother's (presumed) wishes are and how far is reasonable in terms of accommodating my sister? Thanks for your help.