I have been thinking hard about certain happenings in my life lately.
My bestfriend called me a few weeks ago announcing that her brother, a medical doctor, has never stopped thinking about me. My first reaction was “giddy”, as I admire him very much—I find him very intelligent.
You see, a few years ago, it had been our habit to go out on friendly “dates” after work. People said then, if it feels like a date, looks like a date then its was a date. But I couldn’t exactly say those were dates (in the romantic sense) because he never defined the relationship.
When he quit his job ( we were working for the same company then), it was a big disappointment for me to find that these friendly “dates” were co-terminus with his job with the company. There was no effort on his part to contact me save for a few text messages here and there and the usual Christmas present he drops off in our house for me every year for over a decade already. This is even though he knows my address, telephone number and cellphone number.
I was told that he was a busy doctor and that he was cautious with women.
Since then, I dated other guys (not at the same time). Though I like this brother of my friend very much, the other guys made me feel more treasured. One guy even went out of his way to visit me several times here in my country even though he had to attend business elsewhere.
I thought, this guy could find time for me even though he lives in another continent, why can’t this brother of my friend do the same when we live in the same country, about 1 1/2 hours drive away from where I live?
The other guys were gentlemen and good to me, but my problem was that they were not Catholic. I guess, its hard to shake off the thought that I can only marry Catholic. This brother of my friend is Catholic.
Then, a few days ago, his sister in law invited me to their house for lunch. They told him to sit beside me…and we just looked at each other knowingly that his family was at their “matchmaking” mode again. We’re used to it. You see, before his dad died, he told the sister in law that he "wished"that his son and I will end up together.
Though I felt grateful for his father, who I loved like an uncle, for thinking that I was worthy for his son, whom he raised lovingly. To me, this was a most beautiful compliment from his father but it is not “written in stone” that we all have to follow it.
During lunch, the sister in law regalled us with a story about an uncle who got old never marrying…perhaps to “scare” us to stop
taking our time. I know she had good intentions…truth is, I am at a point in my life where I think that I am getting past my time and this story did hit home.
After lunch they told me that they wanted me to see the brother’s new place, which was almost finished. When we got there, the brother told me that he made sure that his place was color blue. As he well knows, blue is my favorite color. Even his plates were blue! I am not sure if he was hinting that it had something to do with me.
Then he showed me his cablinets saying, “See, I made sure that I have a lot of storage.” Last New Year (2007,not 2008) I told him that my mom didn’t like that filled my pink room with big blue plastic boxes in an attempt to organize my stuffs. His reply made me pause then, “I’ll make sure I’ll have lots of storage in my house.”
Then when we got to the bedroom…he said, “I thought I’d end up with a single bed, but I decided that I needed one that could fit two people.” He seemed serious.
Me…I was confused, but my heart did “jump” and just mumbled “Oh good.” and quickly joined the others outside. The things is, at this point, after seeing him only one week a year during the past years since we stopped going out, I felt that our friendship had regressed to comfortable but “shallow” friendship. Many things have happened in my life and I don’t know much of what is happening in his. My group of friends know more about me than he does!
I feel that it was like “I was just starting a new sentence…suddenly I am thinking of the period at the end of the paragraph.” It felt like skipping everything in between…especially the “getting to know you” part and it felt a bit odd.
Later in the car, his sister in law told me that she had asked him, “You like her…she likes you…so what is the problem?” His answer was that he didn’t want to get in between me and my dream to work abroad. He was scared that given the choice…I would choose the latter. He doesn’t know that I am taking this course because of necessity.