Would you continue to do business with a 'rude' sales person?


Hi all,

I made contact with this woman who sells things on Social media.
I’m not particularly comfortable buying things this way,but she sells something that I really want/is hard to find.
I direct messaged her on Instagram enquiring regarding the product specifics,prices etc and her reply was somewhat abrupt and matter of fact.
It wasn’t outright rude so I didn’t think anything of it.
She asked for my Facebook which I was a bit hesitant to give but gave it because she mainly sold on FB and I figured she may want to send a video and its easier to send large video on fb messenger instead of Insta.
At the same time I said to her I would rather interact on Insta if possible though (feels safer to me for some reason).
After that,I didn’t hear back from her for numerous days and I figured she was just busy.

A few days later I saw her list something of interest on FB for sale so I messaged her whether it was still available.
I said in the message “Hi I spoke to you the other day on Instagram…”
Her literal response was “oh are yuuuu hii”
I thought it seemed abit unprofessional but didn’t really think much about it.

At this point I went offline as had to work,do housework etc…

A few hours later I checked my FB messenger and I had a message from her saying she had a parcel/video (of item) for me to look at that she couldn’t send in Instagram.
Below that was the video and below that was a comment “you asked,and I delivered and you couldn’t even say Thankyou.You have no manners,you are rude”

Like :astonished:Omg.A couple of hours had gone by since we last spoke,not days,not weeks etc and she quickly assumed that I was a rude person without manners rather than any of the many other options -eg:at work,busy,not on Internet,weighing up my options whether to purchase or not,checking finances,doing gardening etc…
People don’t always say Thankyou straight away and aren’t always available.
You would think from a business angle anyway there are some people that say Thankyou and others who don’t.

This put me off purchasing so I politely apologised for not having seen her message as I wasn’t online,thanked her for the video and told her that I was not interested in purchasing the product.
I figured if I had this much ‘drama’ with her just for not thanking her immediately perhaps I’ll have bigger drsma with her in the case that I receive the product and it’s nor as described etc (internet photos can be deceptive).

Problem is though I really want the product and she’s one of the few who sells it.:stuck_out_tongue:

Long story short,out of curiosity,would you give your business to a seller who was ‘rude’ if you really wanted the item or would you teach them a lesson by not purchasing?


The ironic thing is I had seen this woman be quite abrupt,almost aggressive to some other people when they had asked her about items on FB.
Eg:one man innocently asked her why her prices were in US currency (we are in Australia) and she replied in capitals BECAUSE AMERICANS ARE MY GREATEST SUPPORTERS.

At the time I thought nothing of this,but after her saying I was rude when I think back a lot of her interactions seem rude so I don’t get some people :woman_shrugging:


Frankly, she sounds like a terrible salesperson. I’d have passed, too, with the same logic you used: if there’s this much drama just for not thanking her immediately, imagine the drama to come later with more important things (like price, state of the product, delivery terms, etc).


Teach them a lesson by not ordering?

That is called cutting your nose off to spite your face.

You can either ignore the comments and buy what you want, or go without.

But you are not going to "teach’ anyone anything.


Aren’t they affected though in a sense because they have lost your business or do mean they don’t think twice about it?


If there’s enough demand for the product, a seller may not care what effect his/her behavior may have on a particular potential customer. Personally, I would walk away from the situation that you describe.

If she’s “one of the few” and not the only, it seems to me that you have other options. I thus encourage you to source this item from another vendor. :slightly_smiling_face:


Hi, I’m a salesperson who sells items through Etsy and through an online platform in my home country.
The thing is, it’s not really lawful per se to sell items on social media- that is why I registered my items on a platform and decided to sell them. Also, this salesperson sounds really rude too. This person does not sound professional at all.

As a salesperson, our job is to provide our customers with the best service as possible so that they would feel at home and receive the best item through our service.

What is the item that you are seeking, if it is okay to ask? I might search in the platform that I work with, and see if there are sellers who are perhaps nearer to your area who could sell the product to you.

I’m sorry that this salesperson provided you with terrible service. I hope that you will have better experiences in the future, and pax Christi!


Thankyou very much for your kind offer.
It’s not really an item that can be found much though outside Australia as it is a type of gemstones for setting in Jewellery and I’ve looked on Etsy and Ebay etc for them.


Well… my first though: ‘Is English her first languate?’ Perhaps the language barrier is causing some of the rudeness. On the internet, you really don’t know who you are dealing with. Also, different cultures have different ways of doing business. I remember being in Mexico and a 12 year old was standing on the sidewalk, screaming what they carried in their restaurant and the mom seemed pleased at her behaviour. No restaurant owner would do that in Canada.

And I agree, that teaching her a lesson is not a good attitude. It almost seems vengeful of you.

However, I do agree that if this is the service you are getting BEFORE she has your money, if there is a problem after you buy it, you will not have good servicde after. Also, it is a gemstones for jewellery which appears to be a want more than a need. It won’t be the end of the world, waiting to see if you can get it elsewhere.

With that said and done, I would also look at the price. If it is a small amount of money you can afford to kiss goodbye, then why not take a chance. However, if you need to dip into your retirmenet fund to buy it, i wouldn’t.


It’s not really a want as it is to do with my trade/business and not for myself.
The price is not cheap,not retirement fund type pricing but definitely not Ebay bargain price either.Im tempted to but against my better judgement to not interact with people that aren’t pleasant.
It’s interesting you mentioned Mexico as I think her background is from South America.
That said,my background is also ‘non English speaking background’ and I don’t interact this way when selling and I also deal often with sellers from Indian backgrounds and Asia and the interactions are 99 % of the time pleasant.
I do try to keep cultural factors in mind,eg:sometimes someone from India will call me sir (I’m a woman) and it doesn’t bother me or I will just find it amusing so maybe with this woman there is some cultural factor at play but also some of her personality factors at play?
In hindsight,I did see her make some interactions with people on FB that seemed ‘short’ and when I asked her if I could please see a photo of the item without filters/photo editing instead of responding ‘plainly’ to me “sure” or “this photo is without filter” she responded “filters?? I never use filters on my photos” which I didn’t think anything of at the time but now I think about it maybe her response did seem a bit defensive like she was offended anyone would suggest she could use filters/editing.
Reality is though,most of the photos on internet have editing.

Regarding vengefulness-where’s the line between being vengeful vs ‘voting with our feet’?
Ie:is it unchristian to think that way?
At the same time,isn’t that how we do things though like for example if our local restaurant consistently gives up bad food or service or are unfriendly,we will stop going to them.

If there are no detrimental effects to their business then won’t they never self reflect and improve on customer service?


I passed up on buying rare items because of the salesman. But I also have a degree of reasonable tolerance. I must say if the person is dishonest I don’t buy on matter of principle. If the salesman shows a clear sign of complete disrespect in any detail business stops immediately.


Firstly, the times I have had a bad transaction which has cost me significant money or trouble were with a salesman who was very charming and “trustworthy”. They are generally the ones who can do most damage.

When I encounter rudeness, in a shop or other transaction, my first thought is “The person may be having a bad day”, and just smile sweetly and offer it up.

If it’s a larger transaction, involving multiple discussions or follow up, then I give them the benefit of the doubt once only, and then start to include it in my decision about whether to purchase, or whether to continue my business with that person.

I don’t recall dealing with someone as overtly rude as this person seems to have been. I’d stop doing business with them, and (optionally), leave a negative review. Just keep it simple and factual.

Still, if it’s only a small amount of money and the person seems to have some mental health issues, and does a good job apart from the attitude, then I give them a bit more tolerance.

There’s an old saying “Unhappy customers rarely complain, they just don’t come back”.


Competition does it.
In the meantime, if there isn t ,and you really want the product,reduce comunication to the bare concrete and minimum and private, that will help you achieve your objective: have the item shipped to you. And the rest of it,skip it.
That is what I would do,at least: just business in this case. Nothing personal.


I always take psychiatric issues into account and tolerate them. But I will not tolerate a personality that became hardened at habitual despise. The issue mentioned by the OP of 99% habitual good interactions deserves an afterthought, those more apt play their patrons for cash cows. I’ll look beyond the PR at the person, any attempt at subtle persuasion beyond reasonable or impersonal treatment has them losing me as patron. The same goes for artificial forms of treatment promoted by some employers to create a custom environment and feel, if it’s representation I’ll look through the acting. I handle genuine only.


I’m not sure if this is what you are saying, but I agree that overly friendly manners can be just as much a concern as unfriendly ones. Which is one reason for giving some benefit of the doubt before cutting off a rude salesman. If they are brusque but “genuine” then it can worthwhile doing business with them. Within limits…


The person seems a little unstable, so probably not. My biggest concern would be that she would take off with the money and not deliver the item, or deliver a damaged item. That being said, I have dealt with weird people on a facebook “mommy swap” page, who also seem to expect that every person is perpetually staring at facebook on their phone and become fussy when you don’t respond to them within minutes. Whether or not I choose to continue transactions with such people depends mostly on how badly I want the item, however, the MO for this page is that exchanges happen in person or by “porch pickup”, so I don’t have to worry about a missing item or anything like that. If I get there and the item isn’t there or isn’t as described, I’m not out anything except my time. I would be much more hesitant if I had to send money over the internet or wait for a package in the mail.


Good advice:)


Hope you have it at home soon! :slight_smile:


What is bad about overly friendly,or do you mean more the “friendly but fake” types of sales people -eg:like some Real Estate sales people that can be very social but come off insincere?


Was I in the fault/did I do something wrong to merit her to respond to me in this way?

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