I will not know in this life - and that is a grace of God - but at least for a time, it was revealed to me that I was a victim soul. I asked to bear the suffering of others and that wish was granted, but even then, God’s amazing mercy was revealed.
I hesitate to mention this, but a member here (I don’t even remember who) posted in 2007 or 2008 that a family member was suspected of having cancer and was terrified. That really struck me, as my dad and two of his sisters (my aunts) all passed to cancer.
I was pondering that plight, unsure of how to address it, when my health suddenly changed. I was finally diagnosed with a rare non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. It went into remission and relapsed twice. I developed two additional cancers, (another non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma as well as a bone marrow cancer), finally having all three simultaneously in 2015. My chances of being alive today, medically speaking, are essentially zero.
I do not know if all of this has any connection - I can only pray that any suffering I underwent spared others from the same journey. I must also mention that this was not me, but God working through me, if that is the case.