Before I pose my question, I am fully aware that the answer to my question needs lots of discernment of both myself and my husband. I just want to see what would someone in my situation do, get pregnant or not?
I have been discerning for some time about whether or not to have another child. We have one daughter, who is 7 and really would like a sister or brother. Before I injured my back and way before marriage, I use to say that I wanted a large family and part of me still does. Here is the problem. I have two really.
First problem is that I have a very bad back. I have had 3 back surgeries with no lasting result or cure of back pain. I have other medical problems that also make the pain worse, like TMJ disorder and pain in the jaw with neck and headaches. I have fibromyalgia which is pain all over my body which probably came from first injuring my back. Basically, I have to wear a narcotic pain patch to increase my pain and be able to live with less pain. I am never completely pain free. I take many medications for muscle spasm and pain. When I first got married, I did not know of NFP and therefore, I got pregnant right away, which is a blessing for at least I have one child. I have also been in 6 car accidents, none my fault, keep getting rear ended. This is my first obsticle to pregnancy.
Second problem is a husband who had a very traumatic and abusive childhood. His temper can go from angry to rage in seconds. He is much better, but has his moments. Thank God he is better. He is not going to Holy Hour, started this week, and daily Mass which he started last month. He is trying to become better. He has been going to weekly confession for months also. He stilll needs healing from the past and unlearn a lot of bad behavior he learned from his parents.
Those are my two major reasons to hold off on one child. I am 42 years old and not getting younger. I have to make a decision soon for my periods are heavy and I am not anemic. I have been on iron pills but still very anemic and tired all the time. My GYN doctors wants me to make a decision of two ways to decrease my flow. One is birth control pills and the other is a D&C and burning the interior of my uterus. The latter one is the one she said will make any future pregnancy out of the question. Part of me doesn’t want not getting pregnant so permanent.
I have asked priests about this and one of them said that I can not run away from pain and suffering and should have another baby. One other priest said that God gave us common sense and if I was not going to be able to care physically for another baby and my daughter and husband, that I should not get pregnant again.
I do use NFP and not artificial means to prevent pregnancy.
What would you do?