We have some friends who are getting a divorce. We have not heard from the wife who moved up north with the kids and would not allow her husband to see the kids except on her terms and with supervision. She did this because she thinks her husband is a sick person sexually because he did pornography for most of their married life.
Anyway, he has been to counseling and to sexual addiction classes in a non-denonminational church and says he is still working on his problems and is much better. He says that his problem should not prevent him from seeing his children. He has allowed his wife for one year to do as she wished because he didn’t want a divorce, but this year she filed for one. Now things are ugly. She stopped all visitations and told him he will never see the kids, so he had no choice but to hire a lawyer and go to court. The judge allowed him visitation without supervision.
They had mediation yesterday and she is asking him ,as part of the divorce settlement, to go to a sexual addiction place to be evaluated which his lawyer tells him usually has every man labeled as a pervert. It is probably why she picked the place. His lawyer suggested a forensic psychologist to evaluate both of them and the kids and this is very expensive, but would help him more than her. She has bipolar in her family and everyone suspect she has it. She was on medication for it when they were living together and went off of it and that is when she went off and took the kids to another state. Now this man has no money for he paid his attorney his fees which were $5,000.00. He is asking friends and family for $500.00 to come up with the money for the psychological evaluation. I know personally they are very expensive for my sister is having to have one done also on her ex and his family and it cost over $5,000.00 but well worth it. This man has made mistakes with his wife and was unfaithful, there is no doubt there and has spent most of his money on porn and wasted it, but now he needs money to protect his right to see his kids or he will never be able to see them without supervision if the judge believes her side if he has to go to this sexual addiction clinic for his evaluation.
Would you lend him the money, knowing you will probably never get paid back? By the way, we know his mother and she is like a mother to my dh. She has given us $100.00 every Christmas to cover our gifts for the whole year, birthday, anniversary and Christmas. She has opened her house and heart to us and treated us as family. She calls my dh one of her sons and me her daughter. She always tells my daughter to call her grandma. She has known me for 10 years and my husband longer. He took him into her home when his mother threw him out in the streets for wanting to be Catholic for she hated the Catholic religion. So we love this family. Part of us wants to help him and part of us doesn’t know if he will really use the money for this reason or for porn. My dh thinks he will use it for the psychologist for he sounded in despair of losing his kids and was crying. He does love his kids and that I know. He can’t ask his mother for she has used all her retirement money on him already and is out of it.