Would you permit your child to attend a party in a gay household ?

I posted this question in the Ask An Apologist
[thread=37910] click here! [/thread]category in February and the scandalous situation at our school is still continuing. I’m just amazed by some of the parents at the school who have no problem with the things which are still occurring in front of our innocent school children. I’m starting this new thread to try and get a feel as to why Catholic parents would expose their children to such a disordered lifestyle.

Question:

from Should parents send their children to a party in a gay household?

Dear Father Serpa,

Thank you very much for responding to my first thread question. You explained it beautifully. It’s unfortunate that the majority of the parishioners at our church and the parents at the school are so misinformed on the church teachings. The people who oppose the men flaunting their lifestyle are the minority. Everyone else is so caught up in the spirit of tolerance, acceptance and charity that they’ve forgotten how to admonish the sinner.

My next question is regarding condoning the homosexual lifestyle I read with interest a previous thread you responded to: Should I let my child visit a lesbian relative? You wrote:

Quote:
[A]s a practicing Catholic, you don’t want your child to see their life-style as acceptable—plain and simple.

So, my question is if and when this active homosexual couple invites other children to come over to their house to play with their adopted children, if parents accept the invitation and allow their children to visit their home are they condoning the homosexual life-style and teaching their children that the homosexual life-style is acceptable?

What would you advise parents to do in the event of a birthday party or sleepover invitation at the men’s house? Many families at our school have sleepover/slumber parties at their homes and I can say with certainty that some parents would permit their children to attend such a party because these men are becoming very popular especially with the mothers at the school.

It puts us parents in a very uncomfortable situation because we don’t want to hurt the feelings of the adopted children of these two men but at the same time we need to protect our children from exposing them to a sinful life-style.

As I’m sure you know Catholic schools are close knit communities and it appears that this family is here to stay. Next year they will have a third child at the school and the following year they will have their fourth child so I’m sure these situations (parties, play dates, sleepovers) will be coming up for the next ten or twelve years. Who knows what lies ahead at Catholic high school?

Thank you for your careful consideration on this matter.


Answer:

Dear GP,

You mention that people seem to be so caught up in tolerance, acceptance and charity that they have forgotten how to admonish the sinner. Well being caught up in tolerance and acceptance does not automatically translate into charity. Charity can only be the product of truth.

To tolerate bad example in a school situation where impressionable children can be easily misled so as not to rock the boat is neither an expression of truth nor of charity. Often true love demands that we say what people need to hear, even though they do not want to hear it. Our Lord did this all the time.

It is a tragedy that the gay couple’s children are caught in the middle. But as for sending your children into their household for a birthday party or some such event, one has to think of one’s own children first. Also, this isn’t just a gay thing. Would you want to send your child into the household of two heterosexual people who are shacking up? Either what Jesus teaches through His Church matters or it doesn’t. It can’t half-way matter. It can’t be half-way the truth. HE HAS TO COME FIRST !

I would suggest that you be friendly with such people, but not friends—and let your children see what charity REALLY is!

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

I hope all households are gay but not homosexual, if that is what you meant. The word ‘gay’ does not mean homosexual, it means happy and festive, while homosexuals are psychotic, suicidal, delusional, narcissistic, selfish, mysoginist, irrational, masochistic, anti-social, self-destructive, and prone to alchoholism and drug abuse. There is nothing ‘gay’ about the homosexual lifestyle.

So yes I would permit my child to attend a party in a gay household, but would not permit my child to attend a party in a homosexual household, whether male or female homosexual.

Hi GloriaPatri4!

This appears to be an issue for you that is consuming most of your time. I wonder why, after having received an answer from an apologist, you would solicit the opinions of other Catholics. It begins to appear as though it is a way of gauging your own moral behavior. Obviously you have some type of ultimate result in mind. What is it?

A couple years ago there was a student at this school whose grandfather would sometimes come to the school to pick him up or to attend some other school function. This grandfather was a chain smoker and he would stand outside the school buildings and smoke his cigarettes (he was still in view). I recall some parents really having a problem with this grandfather smoking around the school and church even if it was outside the building. Now, I detest smoking too and I don’t think it is wise to smoke in front of children but the point I’m trying to make here is I remember more people complaining about the smoking grandfather than the scandalous situation we have before us now.

For all of you who are not familiar with the Califonian Mentality: Smoking is really frowned on in California many smokers are viewed as outcasts by many. Califonia past laws years ago to ban smoking from restaurants and bars. I would go as far to say that many Californians believe it is better to be an active homosexual than it is be a smoker.

Gloria, I voted “NO”. However, I would like to ask if you plan on continuing to send your children to that school. I apologize if you’ve answered that question elsewhere. It seems as if you need to “shake the dust off of your shoes” and move on. I know you live in a liberal area of the country. Would homeschooling be an option? I’m sure that the Public Schools are also very pro gay out your way. Just wondering.

God Bless
Giannawannabe

While I wouldn’t want to expose my children to this disordered lifestyle, I would be VERY worried about the effect and/or stress it would put upon the young child who might possibly have a birthday party with no invitees come at all :frowning:

I don’t like when we start making children deal with adult issues. Those children did not pick their parents and they deserve a birthday party. I would expect practicing Catholic parents to explain the disordered situation at a developmentally appropriate level for their own children, preparing them before and discussing afterward. (Most parents attend birthday parties with their children for younger ages anyway.) I think it could be a great opportunity to expose them in baby steps to the situations they will encounter out in the world and to view them with a Catholic lense. There is nothing wrong with being CHARITABLE to our fellow Catholics.

Being gay is not the same as being an active homosexual, either. Unless you are privy to their bedroom activities, you make quite a few assumptions. I know two women who live as friends and roommates. One adopted a sibling group of two children, and they raise the two kiddos between the two of them. They are NOT gay, they are close friends and both appear called to the single life. The children call their adopted Mom, “Mommy” and their mother’s roommate “Mama (her name).” It’s cute. But many people get the wrong idea and they are unfairly discriminated against ALL the time. They are good, practicing Catholics living a chaste lifestyle and raising two beautiful children who otherwise would possibly not have a home.

Permit me to hazard a guess as to why Gloria Patri4 keeps posting on this topic. I can only respond according to my own reactions to this situation.

Ten years ago, this situation would not have existed. In a blindingly short time, our world has turned upside down, starting with the so-called sexual revolution of the 60’s. It seems that the Catholic Church takes wishy-washy positions on everything that happens, and Gloria Patri4 has realized this, and is appalled that her church does not seem to be taking a correct stance on things. Gloria’s world, and Gloria’s trust in the immutable truth of the Catholic church, has been turned inside out and upside down, with no hope in sight. I myself, and Gloria, too, are watching the downward direction of the moral slide of our Church, our country, and our culture.

Gloria is making a stand at this point in her life. It seems as if nobody else in this parish (?) thinks there is anything wrong with the situation, and Gloria feels out-numbered, defeated, and possibly, now feels like an out-cast in this culture.

Just recently I spoke with a Catholic who defended euthanasia and abortion, as shown in two recent Oscar-winning films. I felt the same way.

Hi Princess_Abby!

I think we will need to give GloriaPatri4 the benefit of a doubt on this one. The couple in question wears wedding bands and has been at the center of a media maelstrom all the while refusing to disown that they are engaged in sexually illicit behavior.

[quote=Other Eric]Hi GloriaPatri4!

This appears to be an issue for you that is consuming most of your time. I wonder why, after having received an answer from an apologist, you would solicit the opinions of other Catholics. It begins to appear as though it is a way of gauging your own moral behavior. Obviously you have some type of ultimate result in mind. What is it?
[/quote]

**Eric, you are very perceptive:rolleyes: . Yes, It is an issue for me especially when this stuff came knocking on my front door. Before this happened at our parish school I was completely in the dark about the Gay Agenda as I think many people are and I viewed most people who ranted and raved about the Gay Agenda as fanatics, I believed they were overreacting. I’ve seen and read way too much in the last six or seven months to go back to my naive mindset. **

**The ultimate result I have in mind is that people will be informed from my threads not in the dark as I was. Most people think “that could never happen at my parish or in my school”, well that’s what we thought. Hopefully these threads are also encouraging people to pray that these situations stop. Hopefully more people will pray that active homosexuals will see the light and end their evil ways and follow Christ. **

Why is it when a Catholic/Christian speaks out against this our motives are questioned. I say we need to be activists too. Activists for the family, for life, for church and for God.

I suppose it would depend upon how well i knew those giving and attending the party… Realistically, I always attended the parties my children went too… not an issue for me.

[quote=Olympia]Permit me to hazard a guess as to why Gloria Patri4 keeps posting on this topic. I can only respond according to my own reactions to this situation.

Ten years ago, this situation would not have existed. In a blindingly short time, our world has turned upside down, starting with the so-called sexual revolution of the 60’s. It seems that the Catholic Church takes wishy-washy positions on everything that happens, and Gloria Patri4 has realized this, and is appalled that her church does not seem to be taking a correct stance on things. Gloria’s world, and Gloria’s trust in the immutable truth of the Catholic church, has been turned inside out and upside down, with no hope in sight. I myself, and Gloria, too, are watching the downward direction of the moral slide of our Church, our country, and our culture.

Gloria is making a stand at this point in her life. It seems as if nobody else in this parish (?) thinks there is anything wrong with the situation, and Gloria feels out-numbered, defeated, and possibly, now feels like an out-cast in this culture.

Just recently I spoke with a Catholic who defended euthanasia and abortion, as shown in two recent Oscar-winning films. I felt the same way.
[/quote]

Hi Olympia!

It’s still a shallow reason, isn’t it? Why depend upon the acceptance of men to do what is right?

Hmmm…This topic hit a little to close to home. I voted yes with the following explanation. We know the circumstances of the gay person involved. The person involved is my wife’s ex. They managed to have 4 children (girls), there was problems in their marriage (my wife took personally), they got divorced and then he comes ‘out of the closet.’ He doesn’t have anyone living with him and unless you knew what all the rainbows symbolized, you wouldn’t know he was gay. He saves his dating and partying when we have the kids. He doesn’t want to shove his lifestyle down the kids throats in fear of losing them.

I have a good friend whose a lesbian whose house I’ve been to many times. You wouldn’t know it from her house unless you asked them. I know she would never flaunt anything in front of a child.

So my answer is, if I know the adults well and I’ve been to the house, I might allow the children to attend a party.

[quote=Olympia]Permit me to hazard a guess as to why Gloria Patri4 keeps posting on this topic. I can only respond according to my own reactions to this situation.

Ten years ago, this situation would not have existed. In a blindingly short time, our world has turned upside down, starting with the so-called sexual revolution of the 60’s. It seems that the Catholic Church takes wishy-washy positions on everything that happens, and Gloria Patri4 has realized this, and is appalled that her church does not seem to be taking a correct stance on things. Gloria’s world, and Gloria’s trust in the immutable truth of the Catholic church, has been turned inside out and upside down, with no hope in sight. I myself, and Gloria, too, are watching the downward direction of the moral slide of our Church, our country, and our culture.

Gloria is making a stand at this point in her life. It seems as if nobody else in this parish (?) thinks there is anything wrong with the situation, and Gloria feels out-numbered, defeated, and possibly, now feels like an out-cast in this culture.

Just recently I spoke with a Catholic who defended euthanasia and abortion, as shown in two recent Oscar-winning films. I felt the same way.
[/quote]

Dear Olympia,

Thank you. You expressed exactly how I feel and the feelings of the other parents that are opposed to this. I feel completely disillusioned by this whole ordeal. Everyone who we thought would surely take a stand against, the people who should have taken a stand against this have let us down terribly. I am aware that I may be bothering some people by my threads. This topic is uncomfortable but one that needs to be addressed and sadly not addressed enough otherwise we would not have these situations popping up at our Catholic schools. The Catholic Answers Forums have been a form of therapy for me it is the one place I can go right now where other Catholics believe in what the church teaches and I truly feel supported in my beliefs.

Hmmmmm.

It’s very interesting to me that the sins of sinners whom we can easily identify, we are quick to cast judgement and condemn.

Does anyone honestly believe that their children are convinced that those who attend a Catholic parish are without sin? Is living a gay lifestyle worse than missing mass, using the Lord’s name in vain, having pre-marital heterosexual sex, looking at internet porn, presuming upon God’s mercy, drinking to excess, using drugs, WHATEVER ELSE…

The Church is FOR sinners.

If Gloria wants to kick out the openly gay parents from her parish, she should be sure to do a thorough inventory and get rid of all those who sin in any way which may be discernible to impressionable children. After all, it appears we be teaching them that if they fall in their journey to salvation by becoming entrenched in sin, that they should flee from the Church and not come back again? That if we lose our sanctifying grace and have a family someday, that due to our lifestyle, our children should be deprived of a Catholic education?

This is so bizarre.

Hi OtherEric!

I’m confused: Do you mean doing what is right and now allowing your children to go to the party? If so, that was not what I was addressing. Of course, if one thinks that allowing the children to go is not the right thing to do, then you are right, stand alone if need be and do the right thing.

I think that GloriaPatri4 is posting about the situation in her parish, that many people accept, condone, and even celebrate the fact that they have a homosexual “couple” raising adopted children enrolled in their Catholic Grammar School. (How cool can you get? :frowning: ) Gloria is appalled at the whole dilemma, which ten years ago, would not be a dilemma, because the Gay Agenda existed, but was not out in your face like it is today. She is drawing attention to how far things have come, and how apalling, our country, our Church, and our culture have fallen.

Gloria, am I right not not? If not, I apologize, then these words are only my opinion of the situation.

I’m starting this new thread to try and get a feel as to why Catholic parents would expose their children to such a disordered lifestyle

Eric,

I know what is right now and I knew what was right when I was asking the question of Fr. Serpa. But sadly other people (Catholics) don’t know what is right and sometimes they need to hear it from a priest and then there are Catholics that could care less what a priest says. Also, there are priests who may not give the same answer that Fr. Serpa gave. I am trying to understand why people would send their children to a party in an active gay household. I don’t need anyones acceptance except for God’s.

[quote=Olympia]Hi OtherEric!

I’m confused: Do you mean doing what is right and now allowing your children to go to the party? If so, that was not what I was addressing. Of course, if one thinks that allowing the children to go is not the right thing to do, then you are right, stand alone if need be and do the right thing.

I think that GloriaPatri4 is posting about the situation in her parish, that many people accept, condone, and even celebrate the fact that they have a homosexual “couple” raising adopted children enrolled in their Catholic Grammar School. (How cool can you get? :frowning: ) Gloria is appalled at the whole dilemma, which ten years ago, would not be a dilemma, because the Gay Agenda existed, but was not out in your face like it is today. She is drawing attention to how far things have come, and how apalling, our country, our Church, and our culture have fallen.

Gloria, am I right not not? If not, I apologize, then these words are only my opinion of the situation.
[/quote]

Yes Olympia you are exactly right.

[quote=Princess_Abby]Hmmmmm.

It’s very interesting to me that the sins of sinners whom we can easily identify, we are quick to cast judgement and condemn.

Does anyone honestly believe that their children are convinced that those who attend a Catholic parish are without sin? Is living a gay lifestyle worse than missing mass, using the Lord’s name in vain, having pre-marital heterosexual sex, looking at internet porn, presuming upon God’s mercy, drinking to excess, using drugs, WHATEVER ELSE…

The Church is FOR sinners.

If Gloria wants to kick out the openly gay parents from her parish, she should be sure to do a thorough inventory and get rid of all those who sin in any way which may be discernible to impressionable children. After all, it appears we be teaching them that if they fall in their journey to salvation by becoming entrenched in sin, that they should flee from the Church and not come back again? That if we lose our sanctifying grace and have a family someday, that due to our lifestyle, our children should be deprived of a Catholic education?

This is so bizarre.
[/quote]

Hi Princess_Abby!

Yes, the Church is for sinners, but isn’t there a real difference between a person who sins and tries to do better and a sinner who not only builds much of his entire life around the sin but openly makes it public knowledge that he commits it?

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