I yell sometimes at my kids. I know I shouldn’t, and it is almost always in the heat of the moment, so I suppose you could say it is lacking the “full consent of the will” aspect of mortal sin. Just today, my 2 year old headbutted me in the eye, hard, after I had told the kids to stop what they were doing. It was an accident, but it was a result of them horsing around. I yelled “Son of a b****! Stop it!” I thought about it for a split second before I said it but my anger got the better of me. Is this sort of thing a mortal sin?
If it’s a mortal sin, then every parent I know is going to hell.
I already have my red union suit and pitchfork standing by for my last day on earth.
I do bring it to confession–particularly when it takes a nasty or shaming tone to it. I don’t think I’m being holy when I lose my temper with my kids at all but I’m not sure it is a mortal sin per se. I try to remember that I am the genesis of their mother archetype–so the way I behave with them now will have an effect on how they see our Blessed Mother and our Mother Church. If I’m a judging harsh harpy, well, I’ve just made it that much harder for them to relate to those two things. So I do take yelling seriously, just not with a big dose of guilt.
No, it isn’t a mortal sin because it isn’t grave matter. But, to help stop searing and yelling at your kids an idea is to tell your family and friends every time you do swear/yell at them you donate $1 to a charity or good organization like 40 Days for Life. Then, after you have started this place a jar to put the money in and I bet you stop pretty soon. Good luck and God bless!
It is not a mortal sin but it is a behavior that, by us doing it, is going to teach them that that is the way to react and in consequence they will yell at us in the future. I have made a crusade of not yelling at all and instead talk to my daughter in a lower tone. Surprisingly o get a much better response from her and obedience when instead of yelling I lower my voice speak slow and.looking straight at her eyes.
Thank you all for the responses. I especially found the idea that I am the archetype for every mother figure they will ever have in their lives and my behavior should reflect a positive motherly image. This is one of my main struggles in life as a mom-my temper. I am quick to forgive, but also quick to lose my temper Prayers needed!
I empathise.:o. I lose my temper more often than I want to. Being a mom is harder than anything else I’ve ever done. Just yesterday my oldest slammed the screen door onto the youngest as we were trying to exit the house. There was an insect buzzing around and he didn’t want it to come into the house. So he slammed the door not realizing his brother was there. So I yelled.
1 minute later same child pulled out the mini van door too far back. And I could not get it closed. And a thousand thought cavalcaded through my head. We’ d be late for swim class, the car would need to be repaired, I worried that someone or something would get into the car. Then I yelled again.
The door eventually closed. I hate when I lose it. I almost envy those really calm and gentle moms. I try very hard to be…but I fail too often.
This is so like me! I try so hard to be meek and gentle like Mary, but I simply do not have the temperament for it. I don’t stay angry for long, but boy, do I let loose when my temper flares up! I pray for patience, but so far, it’s no good
I prayed the rosary for about six months daily on my way to work. Somewhere during that time, I noticed that I was no longer yelling at my children and all road rage was gone. I was the product of a screaming father and thought I would never be able to quit. Our Lady very graciously helped me to quit and everyone is at peace now.
No it is not a mortal sin.I was a single parent - 3 children the youngest a few months old the oldest not quite 5 (now all adults) when the other parent left.I raised my voice on occasion no one died from it. On occasion I would use profanity-not proud of it.All parents yell at their children at times.Prayer helps! There were times when I was ready to explode and I would utter a prayer for help, reaching out to God for help makes it much easier to cope w/ stressful situations, or step outside for a moment, take a deep breath and then deal w/ the situation.If you are wrong admit it and apologize- you gain much respect doing so and most important make sure your children know that you love them!
I on occasion yell at my grand children, although not as much as I yelled at our kids. I wasn’t Catholic back then, knew nothing about the Rosary or Chaplet of Divine Mercy or the Catholic faith in general. I pray both of these daily along with the St. Michael Prayer and I would imagine these help me control my temper.
In the situation you described, your reaction was completely normal. this is a case where I would say, “If you don’t like Daddy to yell at you and swear at you, then you need to do as you are told, at the moment that you are told to do it, and you can’t keep endangering people with your reckless behaviour.”
In general I think it’s important to treat children with the same respect that is due to every human being. Sometimes they reciprocate, more often they just take you for granted. And every so often they still do crazy things that make you yell.
I think as long as it’s not all the time, it’s harmless. It’s also good to apologize to children for yelling at them, and just say, “I’m sorry I lost my temper. I’m the adult and it’s important for me to be in control of myself, no matter what you are doing.”
Save the lecture about what they did for a different moment; don’t combine the apology with the lecture, or both will lose their effect. But don’t omit the lecture, either. Children have no life experience; there are things they need to be told - and told - and told - and told.