Young Adult Guys are getting worst these days.!


#1

Not that im looking for a guy or anything. Im only 19 & i feel i have to focus on my education first & then think about the rest, getting married etc.

But seriously whats wrong with catholic guys these days, im not sure whats going on, why are they making the wrong choices when they know it will affect them in the long run. I sometimes feel its hard to find a honest healthy young guy who is strong with its religion & loves, & trust god before anything. A while back i met a guy in church he is 2 years older than me nice guy, had me fooled i thought we could have something, but that guys was horrible. He smoked weed, dropped out of high school & was unemployed working at a agency for like weeks & then was laid off. He was a smart kid, very lovable & was a good friend, and he said that he really had a strong relationship with god, but yet i cnt understand why your addiction to a drug is much stronger than the love you have for god. I know im nobody to judge why because im probably worst, not in the same aspect as him, but i cuss when im mad even though im really trying my best to stop i catch myself before i say any bad word, & other stuff bt why not change for a better life for the future. Arent they interested in one day forming a family living like god wants us to live. In my church most of the guys their smoke weed, or are dating one girl and dating another one & claiming they love them when they have only had like weeks dating someone. What is our generation turing into. & believe me im scared that i wont find that ideal person not perfect, & i dnt ask for much, but most teens now a days are just all about partying drinking drugs, and all that kind of stuff. I have my fun, i go out bt i dnt do things that i know i will regret later. I just hope that one day guys change for the better for their future & that may god lead their ways to healthier lives & better futures to make their families proud & them selves.


#2

I find it very weird that these lad's actually go to mass and claim to have faith in God doing these thing's. I have mate's whom none would have religious view's and for most life is about partying, drunk, sex etc but they wouldn't fool themselves like this. I used to go out attempting to do these thing's when i was less in the faith but it was incompatible to what i believed a man should be, Catholic's can go out and have fun etc but the whole getting very drunk, drug's, casual sex isn't compatible with who we are, we are wise enough to see the weakness and destructive of such thing's. However this is not just a problem with men but also young women aswell, both now are as bad as each other and the reality is finding someone who at least share's the same value's never-mind if you life them is hard in itself. It's just the way it is in our secular society and it's Global it seem's.


#3

[quote="jazz91, post:1, topic:249298"]
Not that im looking for a guy or anything. Im only 19 & i feel i have to focus on my education first & then think about the rest, getting married etc.

But seriously whats wrong with catholic guys these days, im not sure whats going on, why are they making the wrong choices when they know it will affect them in the long run. I sometimes feel its hard to find a honest healthy young guy who is strong with its religion & loves, & trust god before anything. A while back i met a guy in church he is 2 years older than me nice guy, had me fooled i thought we could have something, but that guys was horrible. He smoked weed, dropped out of high school & was unemployed working at a agency for like weeks & then was laid off. He was a smart kid, very lovable & was a good friend, and he said that he really had a strong relationship with god, but yet i cnt understand why your addiction to a drug is much stronger than the love you have for god. I know im nobody to judge why because im probably worst, not in the same aspect as him, but i cuss when im mad even though im really trying my best to stop i catch myself before i say any bad word, & other stuff bt why not change for a better life for the future. Arent they interested in one day forming a family living like god wants us to live. In my church most of the guys their smoke weed, or are dating one girl and dating another one & claiming they love them when they have only had like weeks dating someone. What is our generation turing into. & believe me im scared that i wont find that ideal person not perfect, & i dnt ask for much, but most teens now a days are just all about partying drinking drugs, and all that kind of stuff. I have my fun, i go out bt i dnt do things that i know i will regret later. I just hope that one day guys change for the better for their future & that may god lead their ways to healthier lives & better futures to make their families proud & them selves.

[/quote]

Hey Jazz91!

I think you might benefit a little if I share my own experience:

When I was around your age, all my "Catholic" friends started getting into booze, sex, partying and drugs. You are at the point in your life right now where many begin to falter. Firstly, don't judge, you'll be amazed how many of them will eventually come back to the faith. Secondly, keep in mind that guys that are falling into the ways of the world only do so because they had some internal weakness that wasn't visible to you before. Although the better thing for them to do is to face the weakness head on and fight it rather than cave into it, it is not beyond God's power to help them conquer it in the end.

As for me personally, I became very distressed when fewer and fewer of my friends followed the faith. So I eventually compromised my faith and decided my friends were more important. It was a huge mistake that I regret, but hopefully sharing some of this with you might help you as you go through this difficult time.

Bottomline, don't make the same mistake I did. Hold strong to your faith, and even though its more lonely at the moment, you'll be happier for it in the long run.

Best of luck! You are in my prayers.


#4

i understand i feel the same way u do


#5

I understand where you are coming from. Unfortunately, many people believe that if they just go to church, all will be well with them and God.

It is very possible to love someone the first time you meet them. My grandmother talk about her relationship with her first love all the time and let me tell you - even though they dated for less then a year before he passed - it was love. Love is a choice, not a hormone.

Also, please do not judge and question your friend's relationship with God in accord to his addiction. You don't know if it is a cross he has to bear. I myself am struggling with an addiction (not drug-related) and if it hadn't been for my relationship with God, I wouldn't have seen it as repulsive. Now thta I have seen it as repulsive, it is a huge cross to bear, as I haven't found anything wrong with it before and I tend to slip into that mindset, even though the Church forbids it.

Many humans have the "Fun now, Responsibilities later" mindset. It's just the way we're built (or for the theologically inclined, it's our fallen nature). We don't want to work until later on.


#6

Be patient. Young people often fall away from the church and then return.

But don't be afraid to be friends with people just because they are sinners. Be strong and be a good role model. Maybe some of them will be inspired to turn away from bad behavior. Just don't let them drag you down into filth.

Pray to God for your friends. St Faustina said the following simple prayer could convert sinners: "O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the heart of Jesus, have Mercy on us."

But again, don't expect that these people will be converted the next day. God works on His schedule, not ours.

God Bless you,
John


#7

It's not the first time I see this kind of post but it gets to me a little...
I see more and more guys at church than girls. Most gals my age don't even think that NFP is a viable choice much more for "serious reasons".
I am a guy. I am 25 years old and stayed firm to the Church for all my life. I resent a little that you call young catholic guys as bad when I feel just the opposite.
Sure, there are bad catholic guys, there are also bad catholic girls. You can share personal experiences but please don't run around saying "young adult guys are getting worse (yes I corrected it) these days!" because you are making unfair generalizations.
Girls can be just as bad as guys and they can even temp a lot of guys in worse ways than any guy can tempt a girl. I know... I've been there!


#8

I like all your opinions & i completely agree with each one of your opinions because their all right. Let me correct myself for those who i upset because of the way i worded things, but Young Adult Girls & Guys are getting worst these days. It is true there are girls & guys who are the same & maybe sometimes even girls are worst than guys. I see so much at church & its true i shouldnt judge & i dont because once i was in his position maybe not with drugs bt with sumthing else. In that time i didnt even know why i went to church i just went because my parents made me go. Then sadly i had to experience something bad that hurt so much in order for me to get close to god, & change my ways, im still working on that but its not as bad, and i know the reasons why he is addicted to that drug i tried to help him, i thought that love can change someone, but i quickly learned if that person dsnt have the will to change he wont, and its harder doing it that just saying it. & im not judging its jst hard to understand why someone cant change when you have all the things to change, & you have people that love & support you, but then again i cant read mines & i dnt know what he really feels & thinks. but it is sad that my generation is more focused on having fun living today, than trying to make an attempt to get closer to god, but something i can do is pray, & one day god will hear my prayers & help my friends out, because out of all my friends im the one who is closest to god, i even have a friend who is a lesbian & says she believes in god but believes the bible is a lie. When she tells me that i jst tell her i respect your ideas & you should also respect mines. but Also i forgot to say some not all young adult girls & guys are getting worst because i know somewhere out there is a good group of young adults that are trying and living like god wants us to live. :) & thanks for all your opinions & god bless.


#9

Young men have always been young men.

I'm 43 and I am a totally different person than I was when I was 23. People will occasionally hear about my misspent youth and can not imagine that I am the same person. My wife freely admits its better that we didn't meet earlier because she may not have liked me much.

Being 19 you can hardly say "getting worse" because you really have nothing to compare it too.


#10

Young adults are no better or worse than they’ve always been. I honestly think it’s more difficult to grow up these days on the straight and narrow, has been for perhaps 40 years or so, but the men themselves haven’t changed.

Young men are hardwired for recklessness, which is why they do backflips off of vending machines and “mattress surf” on the roof of a car doing 80 mph. It’s also a big reason why they march off or allow themselves to be marched off to war.

And your statement that teens today are just all about partying, drinking, and drugs? The sisters said the same about me and my classmates in the 70s, and my mother’s generation, the Hippies, well… We all know what society thought about them.


#11

Your say your not looking for a guy, and you shouldn't be with your attitude. There are many great young adult men and women out there.

If you want to find good men and women, don't act like there aren't any left. That repulses the good ones away from you.


#12

[quote="JohnMPhilomena, post:6, topic:249298"]
Be patient. Young people often fall away from the church and then return.

But don't be afraid to be friends with people just because they are sinners. Be strong and be a good role model. Maybe some of them will be inspired to turn away from bad behavior. Just don't let them drag you down into filth.

Pray to God for your friends. St Faustina said the following simple prayer could convert sinners: "O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the heart of Jesus, have Mercy on us."

But again, don't expect that these people will be converted the next day. God works on His schedule, not ours.

God Bless you,
John

[/quote]

:thumbsup:

My husband and I are in our mid 20s. We began dating in college and some people thought we were kind of lame since we didn't party hard, studied a lot, and settled down quickly. But you know what? Since then SO MANY of those same people come to us and ask us how we got to be so happy. Some of them still think we're lame because we can't stay out until 3am getting plastered, but if that's the highlight of their lives I'll take our three-month-old son any day.:D

Some will take longer than others to grow up, and others never will. I don't think this is the first generation to go through this. Keep on growing in your faith and you will find appropriate people to share it with.

Peace!


#13

Im learning from all this because now i feel that probably every generation has gone through some sort of situation with different addictions, problems etc, & that may sometimes pull them away from their faith.

& i dnt think it repulses the good ones away from me because till this day i havent found any good people that dont do drugs, or have an addiction of some sort. Im not perfect ive said it before & im not looking for nobody perfect its just thats what i feel, & i wrote it but im glad reading all your comments my mind is more open minded about things, and what maybe be happening in some of our youths lives. because nobody ever knows why that person has that addiction or that problem, nobody knows how their lives have been & who am i to judge when once i was like them or even worst & sometimes i fall into that hole i was once in bt i have the courage & the faith in god to get back up & keep on walking by his side in this difficult road called life...jst sometimes it feels like everyone is just focusing on partying drinking drugs & ive even lost friends because of that, jst simply because i dnt want to do drugs or party and sometimes it hurts to see them fall like that & not be able to help them. Like my friend who i really liked, i thought i could help, that things could of been different & in that time i was naive i thought that all people that went to church were good people, then i quickly learned that not all people who went to church were nice, there was all sorts of people who have done good, bad, & other things, but i know one thing they are all their for one reason god and his faith. for that forgiveness were all looking for, for that peace we constantly need in our lives. :)


#14

I know what you're saying. I'm 18 and have found a lot of people in my generation have invested a lot of time in sex, partying, crazy drugs, and so forth. Many young people these days lack a sense of moderation and never think of their future. As a result they pay the price for it.
Honestly, I like to party, drink, and have a good time on occasion, however, it's certainly not something I want my life to revolve around. I work my tail off sowing the seeds for awesome an awesome future (keeping my virginity, maintaining my studies, adhering to the virtues, etc) and I hope there is a girl out there who's willing to do the same for me.

You're right. Every generations has it's problems. So, the best advice I can give you is don't let the stupidity and mistakes of previous/current generations be in vain. Learn from their bad decisions so you don't screw your life up like they did. Patience is another important thing to remember. As much as I want to find a cute girl to spoil and love with all my heart, I can't waste time right now sifting through all wrong people to find the right one and lose out on time to build my future. I figure the right one will come in due time. This is the time to think about YOURSELF and what you want to be in life.


#15

[quote="stringbeanduck, post:14, topic:249298"]
I know what you're saying. I'm 18 and have found a lot of people in my generation have invested a lot of time in sex, partying, crazy drugs, and so forth. Many young people these days lack a sense of moderation and never think of their future. As a result they pay the price for it.
Honestly, I like to party, drink, and have a good time on occasion, however, it's certainly not something I want my life to revolve around. I work my tail off sowing the seeds for awesome an awesome future (keeping my virginity, maintaining my studies, adhering to the virtues, etc) and I hope there is a girl out there who's willing to do the same for me.

You're right. Every generations has it's problems. So, the best advice I can give you is don't let the stupidity and mistakes of previous/current generations be in vain. Learn from their bad decisions so you don't screw your life up like they did. Patience is another important thing to remember. As much as I want to find a cute girl to spoil and love with all my heart, I can't waste time right now sifting through all wrong people to find the right one and lose out on time to build my future. I figure the right one will come in due time. This is the time to think about YOURSELF and what you want to be in life.

[/quote]

I knew someone out there knew was i was talking about. & that is very true patience is very important because i feel i need a lot of patience in order for that right guy to come along. & yeah the right one will come in due time. God does things, and when things happen its the right way, and everything he does is for a reason to help us & to make us a better person. & that is also true i have to think about myself & what i want in life for now. Things will come at its right time, the rest will fall into its right place. & im to young the only thing i should be focusing is my studies


#16

As far as this issue goes, I have a strong opinion. I'll quote what a pastor once told me while I was visiting a friend's church.

"To say, 'kids will be kids. I've known people who fell away but turned out alright in the end,' is a huge mistake. I've known people who fell into a heroin addiction and turned out alright, but that's no excuse to decide heroin use is an acceptable practice. We shouldn't be worried about the ones who turn out alright, but the many who don't."

We shouldn't dismiss the actions of teenagers simply because of their age or because we know people who've turned out fine.


#17

[quote="Rascalking, post:11, topic:249298"]
Your say your not looking for a guy, and you shouldn't be with your attitude. There are many great young adult men and women out there.

If you want to find good men and women, don't act like there aren't any left. That repulses the good ones away from you.

[/quote]

Of course, your advice assumes that there are plenty of good ones out there, which is a pretty big assumption.


#18

I find it very odd that your titles is about guys getting worse and then your first line is about not wanting to meet someone. It sounds contradictory. If you really did not want to meet someone, you wouldn't notice guys are getting worse.

As for doing drugs, for all you know he suffers deeply with an addiction so please do not judge him. I also would like to say as brave as it was for you to admit you are not perfect, a guy could easily start a post entlitled 'Why do girls swear now a days' and he would be more accurate because years ago that just did not happen. In God's eyes swearing might be worse than the occasional joint

On the one hand I want to help you but on the other, after reading a post that came across as male bashing it is kind of hard.

As for doing the right thing. When I was your age my mom told me to be a good girl and the right guy would come along. Well I was a good girl and I am 41 and the right guy still has not come along (and I am good looking in case you are wondering). So the moral of the story is we are not suppose to do the right thing for someone to come along. God calls us to do the right thing to be close to Him which means accepting his will even if is is being single.

As for these men just wanting to have sex. Yes it is wrong but it is equally wrong for women to wear skimpy clothes and tempt men all the time. Men could easily start a post 'Why don't women dress more modestly'

I think it is good that you want to follow God. But I also think you have a long way to go. First start by running your own race and handing other people over to God. You had a bad experience that led you back to God. Be thankful for that blessing not judgemental of people who fall away.

Sure it appears people like to party more nowadays. but guess what, every generation has sins to struggle with. Years ago there was slavery. That was a horrific sin. Perhaps rather than focussing on the 'bad of today' we should look at the good such as equal rights are being recognized by government.

And I really don't believe you are the only young adult who wants to meet good people. They are out there just pray to God to put them in your path

And lastly, there will always be bad apples sitting in the pews. We are all sinners so it is unrealistic to expect every who attends church is a perfect Catholic. In the same manner as it is quite possible for someone who does not go to church to be a good person

CM


#19

i have so much to say about everything you wrote but i wont say much just that i respect what you wrote, but half of the things you wrote are not even close to what i was pointing out. There is positive & negatives, this was just something i had noticed 2 years ago & was once again reminded thursday when i attended mass, & its equal with young adults, both sexes act in bad ways, just i was talking about guys because of what i was witnessing thursday, but i also see girls act the same way. & like ive said before i have read all the ideas & beliefs people have about this topic & i was wrong putting just adult guys, because as well girls act in bad ways & yes, who am i to judge, but im not judging in a bad way or talking bad about people im saying the truth, wat is affecting young adults every single day. & with that said i respect everyones opinion i didnt mean to be rude or judgmental in any way im just speaking the truth for some not EVERY young adult, because their is good & bad out their.


#20

And I am trying to also point out it is not just your generation. It has been EVERY generation. Why else did God cause the flood and spare only Noa's family? Why else did Jesus come 2000 years ago to save us? There are has and always will be sin

CM


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