Young, Divorced, Annulled?


#1

Hi,

I was wondering if there are any others out there who are in their 20’s/30’s who are currently going through a divorce and/or annulment.

I’m trying to find support for younger people who are going through the divorce/annulment process and I’m having a hard time. I was thinking that maybe we could turn to each other for support and help during this difficult and trying time.

Thanks…looking forward to meeting others.


#2

I’m doing the annulment thing, but I’ll bet 64 is a bit too old, huh?


#3

There are a fair number of us here already, and we tend to be regulars on the nullity related threads in an informal bit of self-support with some occasionally private messages. Hang around a bit and you’ll see who the other are are.


#4

My Sister in law is going through a reversion process at the same time as her marriage seems to be breaking down. If you get divorced and then revert, how do you deal with that?


#5

How far along are you in the process ?

I married at 23, divorced at 26, started the annullment process and converted at 28. I’m still working through the annullment process, but hopefully the end is in sight!

It is hard being young and going through a divorce and annullment. There is a local support group that meets, but I called and the majority of participants are +40. I’m sure that there are great people there, but the issues are a little different being young. (and also being a recent convert!)

Feel free to PM me!


#6

#7

Hi, I am 35 and currently going through the annulment process, since 2001 because I had to make an appeal. It has been a really hard process and tiresome. But I had no support from any body, no help from no body, just reading by myself what I can find on the Internet.


#8

Ohmygoodness! I was just asked, as part of beginning the annulment process, to find some witnesses who can be interviewed about my marriage-people who knew me before and during the marriage. Well, I can’t think of any becaus he has sucessfully alienated us form everyone, and like a fool I let him. everyone who helped us celebrate our union (they were all his friends, he told me “I don’t know your friends, let’s make our own together” [read: MY friends only are good enough for you]) it’s as if they fell off the earth.
Other than our emails, I am also having a hard time finding a group even close to my age. So I read & pray. Keeping a journal has been a lifesaver.


#9

Your parents and siblings would be good potential witnesses. You might even want to look up those old friends of yours whom he alienated, both as potential witnesses, but also for rekindling an old friendship.


#10

ajcoley1: dulcissima has some good suggestions for witnesses. You could also look at co-workers (or former co-workers) and supervisors. They may not have knowledge of your personal situation, but may provide ‘character’ witness as your job performance was or wasn’t affected by the issues.

I too had a very difficult time naming witnesses. I used both of my parents, my sister, sister-in-law, and a very close friend from college (who knew me before my ex and I were together). This provided a bit of support for someone not related to me, who knew what I wanted out of a relationship and how I was misled by what I was being told and what happened.

evicort, I feel for your pain and efforts. I moved last Sept to a new state, and consulted with a local priest on my 2-year case with the former diocese. At the end of December, I proceeded with closing the case in the former diocese and opened a case (continuation) in my current diocese. Needless to say, it’s hard to start over, but already the first step took only 2 months instead of the 6-8 at the former diocese.

My current priest is a great support and encouragement, much more interested in seeing my case progress (where as my former parish priest claimed that he didn’t know or understand anything the Tribunal was doing).

My prayers to all of us young and struggling to close out a painful part of our lives. My rosary tonight will be to all of us, that we can find the support we need to complete the journey.


#11

Here’s another one! I’m 32 and was granted nullity this spring. Some friends think I’m nuts for not wanting to date but, seriously, I want my energy for ME for a while. With the divorce, recomittment to my faith, nullity petition, and counseling, I feel like I’ve been through a Master’s program on life and I need to rest, like the week after finals!

Hang in there…the stone continues to roll uphill. :smiley:


#12

Hear hear…just the FACT that he alienated her old friends makes a statement to a Tribunal. Get on the phone!


#13

Thank-you, cecilia and dulcissima!

Co-workers? I wasn’t able to work outside the home. I took care of a special needs child, who is now 16 and is asking about my faith. Not to mention the suspicion if I got a call from a potential employer.
Although my 4 children weren’t raised in any church, I listed them as members, simply to have them known Someplace.
I’m a bit off topic here; doing alot of healing!


#14

Talk to a priest or parish advocate for the nullity process…at least in my diocese, I think there is some special handling for cases where abuse happened. The Church understands those difficulties. Just pray for the truth to come out. I think Tribunals have heard it all and can tell when someone’s testimony has the ring of truth about it…even if you can’t drum up any witnesses.


#15

It sounds like you were in a similar marriage to mine…where I was not allowed to work outside of the home and friendships (other than my ex’s friend)s, and outside contacts were strongly discouraged. Those kinds of controlling behaviors didn’t just spring up out of nowhere, and surely there were signs that your family and friends were aware of before you married. I know my mom and a couple of my closest friends did warn me, only I ended up distancing myself from them and only doing things with my now ex and his friends.


#16

And get your life back!!


#17

Thanks for the support! Still at this point is an on going battle that is affecting our kid, because of the canon in use (canon 1095). My kid sees me sad and he is sad with me. I wish sometimes, to make everything disappear an that this process never started… but still I am hopeful and faithful that the truth will prevail and that God is by my side and that He is giving me the strength to keep going, despite the hardship…thanks


#18

Remember how you felt going thru your divorce? Or, of not, let me give you my example: I put it off for 6 years.Like maybe things will go away on their own.Finalized on Apr. 15-my brother’s Birthday. I have never been lighter & I’m told I smile & laugh more. I wish I didn’t drag my feet, but perhaps that was “practice,” to remind me not to drag my feet with the annulment process. I WILL get through the hard stuff, and so will you!


#19

Well, I’m not young I guess, (43) but I have my son, my brother, and my friend and my former church deacon.

I read a great book that said that some witnesses could be character witnesses - they didn’t have to know everything that happened. So I have two of those, then two who knew the marriage itself. Hopefully that will be enough.

Blessings, it’s not an easy experience…
:o


#20

Today I got a call from the county where I was married saying there was NO RECORD OF A MARRIAGE. I could just cry.


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