Your advice.


#1

Hi. :slight_smile: Thanks for taking the time to read this posting. I would like your input about a situation that came up. I was in the process of getting to know a Catholic girl through chatting on the internet that I met on a Catholic singles site. We have been corresponding for about a month now and she recently told me that she went to a wedding with her ex-boyfriend. Then, she told me that they slept in the same hotel room where they stayed for the night having been driving to the wedding destination. She said that they slept in different beds and that she kept her clothes on because she didn’t feel comfortable. She claims that he booked the room and that it was the only one left. What is your opinion about this? Do you think it is right for one to remain in contact after having broke up? Do you think there are any objections to sleeping in the same room like that with an ex? Do the circumstances justify it? Should I still keep contact with this person? Thanks for your time and thoughts. :slight_smile:

                                                                    Marcenter

#2

I’m friends with a lot of my ex boyfriends. In fact I’m living with one right now. If it wasn’t a nasty break up, just that things had run their course and you no longer liked them in that way, I don’t see what the problem with remaining friends with an ex is. Practically all of my exes are still my friends. I’ve slept in rooms with them, and even in the same bed as them ( vacations and such). Nothing happens, and we both know that the idea is so repulsive to us that it wouldn’t happen. I think that remaining friends with an ex is a sign of someone who is mature and forgiving.


#3

No, it was not the right thing for her to do. She was placing herself and her ex-boyfriend in the occasion of sin by sharing a hotel room with him, and being a source of scandal for others. The very fact that she was not comfortable with the arrangement herself indicates that on some level, she knew it wasn’t right. However, as you said, she may well have felt she had no other options, and what’s done is done. Whether you should continue contact with her is up to you. It may just have been a mistake that she doesn’t intend to repeat. What it boils down to is this: do you trust her? And there’s your answer.

As to whether it’s right or wrong to continue contact with an ex, that a whole 'nother can of worms, friend! :eek:


#4

Others have given some good advice, so I won’t re-state their opinions. But regarding the question of whether or not you should continue to have contact with this person, I would say that this should not drastically change your view of them. If we fled from anyone whom we thought did something wrong, we’d all be hermits.


#5

In my experience, the truth about scandalous situations comes out over time, and it often IS as bad as you think. However, I’ve been wrong as often as I’ve been right, so take it for what it’s worth.

Should you stop speaking to her? Eh, probably not. It’s just an Internet relationship you’ve got right now, and those things always require a high degree of faith. Once it becomes more real, then I’d say to put the kibosh on communication if she does something similar again.


#6

[quote=Pray4Life]No, it was not the right thing for her to do. She was placing herself and her ex-boyfriend in the occasion of sin by sharing a hotel room with him, and being a source of scandal for others. The very fact that she was not comfortable with the arrangement herself indicates that on some level, she knew it wasn’t right. However, as you said, she may well have felt she had no other options, and what’s done is done. Whether you should continue contact with her is up to you. It may just have been a mistake that she doesn’t intend to repeat. What it boils down to is this: do you trust her? And there’s your answer.

As to whether it’s right or wrong to continue contact with an ex, that a whole 'nother can of worms, friend! :eek:
[/quote]

I totally agree and you here are giving the OFFICIAL teachings of the church. It is not right for anyone to sleep in the bed of anyone with them, unless it is husband and wife, OR siblings, and not good even then(siblings). This sleeping together, or sharing rooms with the boyfriend/girlfriend thing is not good, and seems to now be the fad as we even see this on certain reality shown, etc, etc, etc, = Moral decay.


#7

[quote=Marcenter]Hi. :slight_smile: Thanks for taking the time to read this posting. I would like your input about a situation that came up. I was in the process of getting to know a Catholic girl through chatting on the internet that I met on a Catholic singles site. We have been corresponding for about a month now and she recently told me that she went to a wedding with her ex-boyfriend. Then, she told me that they slept in the same hotel room where they stayed for the night having been driving to the wedding destination. She said that they slept in different beds and that she kept her clothes on because she didn’t feel comfortable. She claims that he booked the room and that it was the only one left. What is your opinion about this? Do you think it is right for one to remain in contact after having broke up? Do you think there are any objections to sleeping in the same room like that with an ex? Do the circumstances justify it? Should I still keep contact with this person? Thanks for your time and thoughts. :slight_smile:

Marcenter
[/quote]

It sounds as if she is exceptionally up-front with you, anyway. My advice is to ask her what she thinks about the whole thing. The ensuing discussion might be very informative for both of you.

I don’t know how you can go wrong in a relationship with compassionate honesty. (That’s code for deciding when your mouth should be open or shut based on when it is right for them, not just what is most comfortable or “natural” for you.)


#8

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