Your message to homosexuals about their prospects for love and companionship

I was originally going to make a poll, but set choices as responses can be very inaccurate and limiting. So instead, this is completely open-ended: When talking with persons with same-sex attraction, how do you/would you respond to their concerns about their prospects for love and companionship?

Thanks, I appreciate all thoughts.

'm not exactly sure how to phrase it

  1. Many sexual relationships are actually fairly shallow because they are based on infatuation not love
  2. Nonsexual relationships can very much meet intimacy needs
  3. Historically same sex friendships were regarded as much higher spiritually than marriage.

I definitely wouldn’t suggest therapy or suggest that most should be in heterosexual marriages, but I also wouldn’t dismiss the possibility of an opposite sex marriage as while they are rather rare there are mixed orientation marriages that actually work.

If their concept of “love and companionship” includes homosexual sex…I would say that they are entering a dangerous (health wise) area…and better re-evaluate their idea of love and/or companionship.

Given that lesbian sex is safer than heterosexual sex for women:

If a woman’s concept of “love and companionship” includes sex with men…I would say that they are entering a dangerous (health wise) area…and better re-evaluate their idea of love and/or companionship.

If I did at all (which is highly unlikely), it would be the same as someone with opposite sex attraction.

Interesting…so who needs men…right?

Please explain…

I don’t think I’m familiar with your response for that question, what would be your message in either/both cases then?

I would send them to CourageRC 's website for starters.

But I would then say, that we are more than sexual experiences…much more. As a single person living celibately I can attest to there being happiness in family, friends, God, the Church, and so many other aspects of life.

It is an opportunity to grow in holiness, rising above the basic need of sex and instead seeking something far grander.

Priests, religious brothers and sisters, single people, the elderly, and many many different kinds of people do it and so can they.

I would respond that we are all here to know God, love God and serve God.
There are many men and women throughout the centuries that have been single and had very fulfilled lives. They were loved and loved others in a way that honored God and helped them grow in sanctity. They brought blessing upon this earth, so much so that miracles happened because of their relationship with God and their intersession. The Church honors them, remembers them through the centuries, and holds them up to us to give us an example. We can go and do likewise.


When you speak of love, do you mean the love for a friend or romantic love?

When you mention companionship, do you mean only doing things together or living together as a couple?


I have many friends, both gay and straight, and hope all of them find true love, companionship and happiness. As Francis said who am I to judge who another person chooses to be with, and hopefully fall in love with.

Thanks for the clarifying question. I mean both. Imagine that person you are talking to has only heard the Catholic teaching about these things minimally and secondhand (friends, media, etc.), and you are the first person who is really able to flesh it out for them.

Just to clarify…you hope they find true love and happiness in living according to the teachings of the church right?

There is no happiness or freedom or love or companionship that truly exists outside of God’s will for us, and God’s will for us is to live in the Ark of his Church that he has sent for our salvation.

Anything else is just our own self service, not what is best for us.

The other thing, regarding companionship, There is nothing sinful about two men being best friends, devoted to each other, living together and sharing life together. St Basil and St Gregory are a good example of this.

The key is to live chastely.

This is a way a lot of “homosexuals” live in church teaching. They are committed to celibacy.

That would depend on what the specific question was.
If someone asked me about their “prospects” for love and companionship, I’d say there are lots of opportunities in life for that. I’d advise them to engage in activities where they’d meet people and develop friendships that deepen over time.
Or is “prospects for love and companionship” code for sexual gratification? If it is, I don’t want to know about people’s sex lives, whether they’re gay or straight.

You are totally missing the point.

You know I’m not advocating or supporting same sex sexual relationships…but is your statement factually accurate for Lesbians?

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Beautifully said!

THANK YOU for this post which does not drip with false sympathy in affirming the world’s message (contrary to Christ’s) that without sex and being in a physical relationship, we are deprived and unnecessarily made to suffer! That God has imposed a cruel sentence on homosexuals and it is unrealistic to think they can be whole and have a meaningful life without sex.

The meaning and fulfullment of life and Christianity 101: We were made to know God, to love God and to serve God in this life in order to live with Him in the next. If that happens, we love, not with romantic love, but with authentic love and the world is our companion - we are united in goal and God satisfies everything in the hungry heart for those faithful to Him.

I think the poster was referring to the global health risks of homosexual behavior, not simply the STD risks to which you appear to be referring. It’s a valid point. Whether one believes these health consequences arise from the societal opprobrium often associated with public identification as same-sex attracted (which would be a difficult claim to make) or from the inherently disordered nature of same-sex relationships, the risks to health and happiness are there and should not be breezily discounted.

On the question raised by the OP, I would suggest that one recognize that there are many deeply-felt forms of attraction that are still inherently wrong, demeaning to the human spirit (of all parties concerned), and should be resisted. One may feel that one may only achieve happiness and fulfillment with a partner who is already married to another person, or to a person who has clearly indicated disinterest, or to someone who is sociopathic, or to someone who is too young, or to someone whose lifestyle choices or self-destructive behavior (drug use, alcoholism, cruelty to children) render them unsuitable, and one may further feel that only such a partner offers the chance for happiness. One should still resist such urges and if no other appropriate partner is available, choose to live a celibate life.

It is a romantic but ultimately juvenile belief, fostered by today’s popular culture, that sexual or simply romantic attraction is an irresistible pull that must be followed for one to achieve fulfillment.

To people carrying the cross of such a difficult position, I would offer that they consider their focus in life not thwarted, but rechanneled, and attempt to refocus their energy outward to help others. As the Russians say, a river that is dammed has twice the force.

Every virtue has a shadow side that can pervert it. Attraction to another is good; obsession with another is not, and the ironic side effect of an unhealthy attraction to another (of any gender) is that it creates an unhealthy and destructive focus on ourselves and our demands even as it appears to make us think of another. The best cure is to turn one’s love outwards away from one’s self and our own selfish demands, and towards God, and to others who need help, through acts of charity.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit